Do you ever wonder why the things that happen do? 

I look into every scenario and every person I encounter as having some sort of meaning. Fates way of nudging me into the direction I’m meant to follow. Everything is there to teach me some sort of lesson. Nothing happens by chance. Everything happens for a reason. My father always tells me that signs will always appear and lead you into the right direction. My father is not religious. Nor is he spiritual. My father is a realist. But he is old and wise and we must listen to our elders. Particularly the ones that have helped shape us into the people we become. I also received a message from my guru Todd Savvas last night too. And we haven’t spoken in almost 4 weeks so I can’t help but to see it as a sign (oh, and I think everyone should have a guru, and mine is the BEST).

I love reading. Although I’m a little bit off the wall and somewhat of a rebel at times (and labeled as “outspoken” by my friend Gavin, which my outspokenness seems to have been somewhat suppressed of late), I am a book nerd. My favourite author is Paulo Coelho and instead of a blog post today that I’ve written myself (as those of you who follow my blog will come to understand I am suffering from a dreaded case of writers block right now) I’ve decided to post an excerpt from a book I’m currently reading called “The Zahir”.

I read this part of the book just last night and for me it was filled with so much meaning, particularly when it comes from someone as spiritual as Paulo Coelho who is someone I deeply admire. Conformist I am most certainly not and this entry below sums it all up perfectly…

“I went to a train station today and learned that the distance between railway tracks is always 143.5 centimetres or 4 feet 8 1/2 inches. Why this absurd measurement? When they built the first train carriages, they used the same tools as they had for building horse drawn carriages. And why that distance between the wheels on carriages? Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel.

And who decided that roads should be that width? It was the Romans, the first great road builders, who decided to make their roads that width. And why? Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5 centimetres. So the distance between the tracks I saw today, used byour state-of-the-art high- speed trains, was determined by the Romans. When people went to the United States and started building railways there, it didn’t occur to them to change the width and so it stayed as it was. This even affected the building of space shuttles. American engineers thought the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were built in Utah and had to be transported by train to the Space Centre in Florida, and the tunnels couldn’t take anything wider. And so they had to accept the measurement that the Romans had decided was the ideal.

But what has all this to do with marriage? It has everything to do with marriage.

At some point in history, someone turned up and said: when two people get married, they must stay frozen like that for the rest of their lives. You will move along side by side like two tracks, keeping always the same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little further away or a little closer, that is against the rules. The rules say: be sensible, think of the future. You can’t change, you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don’t allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through – its too dangerous.

And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, the same functional nature. Think of your neighbours. Show them that you’re happy, eat roast beef on Sundays, watch television, help the community. Think of society: dress in such a way that everyone knows you’re in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation, it could mean divorce, crisis, depression. Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practise a sport – oh, yes, you must practise a sport in order to stay frozen in time. When sport isn’t enough, have plastic surgery. But never forget, these rules were established long ago and must be respected.

Who established these rules? That doesn’t matter. Don’t question them, because they will always apply, even if you don’t agree with them. No one should ever ask themselves: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.

If I behave in the way people expect me to behave, I will become their slave. I can’t live according to other peoples expectations.” – Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

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