Category Archives: Tip Of The Day

SUPERMARKET THOUGHTS

You know what I’m talking about…

The thoughts we have at the supermarket. We all have them.

Yesterday I hit the gym again after a sabbatical to try and gain some weight after having lost it somewhere during the past month.

I was beginning to resemble Rachel Zoe’s long lost twin for a second there, but I’ve managed to gain the few kilos back now.

Thank you beer.

So I hit the gym, felt excellent for having done it (I was even welcomed back by the staff which I’m not sure if that’s sad or flattering), and headed to the supermarket to grab a few things for dinner. I was having a girlfriend over.

I was my usual self again, I felt energetic, and my mind over thinking with it’s usual stream of nonsense.

I wandered towards the milk fridge.

“Ohhh, yesssss. I can buy the milk that I like. My husband didn’t like this milk” as I grab the milk I prefer.

I wandered down the bread aisle.

“Hmmm. Do I want soy and linseed? Or pumpkin seed bread? Soy and linseed. Oh look, hot cross buns. Is it Easter already?”

I went to walk down the chocolate aisle. There was a woman dawdling in front of me in a daze, taking up the entire aisle.

“C’mon lady. It’s not normal to walk that slow.”

I then went to the toiletry aisle.

Again, another woman having a little micro sleep, and blocking my path.

“Hurry up fuckwit.” (God I’m mean sometimes in my head. Patience really is a virtue.)

Then I approached the body wash section.

“Hmmm. Mango and cocoa butter.”

I proceeded to unscrew the cap to see if I liked it.

“Mmmm….It smells like lollies.”

Then I spotted another one. Jasmine and green tea. I unscrewed that one.

“Oh, yes. I like this one much better.”

Then I remember I needed soap too.

“Soap, soap, soap…” (I’m tracing swirly lines in the air now searching for it – as if that helps)

“Ah. Soap” (upon locating it) “Why is soap so expensive?”

Then I head to the self service checkout. It’s very busy, and there’s a long queue.

I shuffle impatiently from foot to foot, complaining in my head at the length of time it takes for some people to scan their shit.

“C’mon bitches!”

It’s also around 4pm, so there’s a bunch of school kids with their parents. The parents are letting them scan the groceries. At an astonishingly slow speed.

“Really?” (I roll my eyes now, and mentally slap myself across the face for being a secret bitch).

My turn now. I walk to the checkout.

I then scan my items with great difficulty.

I accidentally scan my barcode on the keyring that contains my little gym swipey thing, wondering if that’s my karma for being so judgemental in my head.

“Excuse me” I say this audibly, trying to get the attention of the store assistant. “I’m sorry, I accidentally scanned my keyring thing”

She sorts it out for me.

“Oh, um, excuse me” I call out to the attendant again. I’ve clumsily scanned the little barcode on an avocado. Stupid me.

“See? Karma” my mind chimes in.

I then head to the liquor store to buy some wine. My girlfriend likes this Brown Brothers wine. Something called “Sienna”.

I search the store everywhere for this bottle and simply cannot find it.

“Excuse me? Can you help me? I’m looking for a wine. It’s a chilled red called Sienna” I ask the store assistant.

He wanders over to the shelf I had already walked past at least 3 times.

“Here you go.” He hands me the bottle.

“Oh it’s “Cienna”, with a “C”, not an “S” ” I say to him.

He looks at me like I’m an idiot.

“Why do you always have to speak?” my mind complains at the unnecessary comment I had just made.

I pay, and make my way to the car.

“Ugh, look how I parked. What an asshole” I say to myself as I observe that I’ve parked over the line and left no space for anyone else to park next to me.

I get into my car, and drive home.

So what’s the lesson in today’s article?

Well, all of us have “supermarket thoughts”. Of course our thoughts are not limited to the supermarket. We are constantly thinking.

Next, sometimes I can be really horrible with my thoughts. Aren’t all of us like this at times?

And next, I believe in karma.

I was not being nice with my thoughts, and the universe served me as a result, with a lesson in humility.

Oh, and I really need to learn how to park a car.

So I guess today’s advice is to stay positive with your thoughts, and try not to be judgemental and impatient.

Because what you think about, you really do bring about.

VIDEO BLOG: Winged Eye-liner (and how not to get lipstick on your teeth)

I have had a request for a video blog on how to do winged eye-liner from cousin Lara in Sandusky Ohio.

I am without my trademark hat in this video blog, as it kind of messes up the look.

It’s such an easy look to master, and you also get a tip on how not to get lipstick on your teeth too.

You get to get a close-up of my godforsaken crooked front tooth in this one. If I ever overcome my irrational fear of the dentist, I will be fixing that shit up. Particularly as I will no longer then lisp on that “sage” word.

Happy viewing!

VIDEO BLOG: Sage Smudging

Are you ready for some madness?

Today’s video blog is quite interesting for those of you with an open mind. It might expose me for the free spirit I actually am, but that’s ok. It’s who I am, and I’m not concerned if anyone thinks I’m a nut-job. Because I know I’m not. And that’s all that matters. I am just open to all of the possibilities that exist. There’s more to this world than what we’ve been taught by our parents and peers. So remain curious. Remain open-minded. Remain free-spirited.

I also made a false statement that this was indeed my fifth video blog post. It’s actually my fourth. Yet on my YouTube channel, it’s actually my fifth video. So same, same, and whatevs… (Oh, and my cool t-shirt appears to be see-through. Unintentional, but you’re welcome).

So it’s about an ancient tradition known as “sage smudging” (oh, and the mild speech impediment I have on the word “sage” due to my crooked front tooth is remarkable). You can read more on it here http://www.examiner.com/article/how-to-smudge-and-rid-your-home-of-negativity , and happy viewing!

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that I undermine myself with my own hyper-awareness of my own flaws and quirks, but I’d rather serve myself before anyone else has the chance to.

15 THINGS WOMEN CAN DO TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT

I spoke to a girlfriend last night who was going to meet with a gentleman for a drink.

She was feeling nervous, unattractive, and lacking confidence.

Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?

Whilst true confidence comes from within, I also believe that true confidence also comes from ensuring we do certain things to allow that inner confidence to shine through.

What am I talking about?

Well, I’m talking about things that make you feel better about yourself.

I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to this type of stuff. But I also think we should celebrate our femininity. And show up as the women we truly are.

So here’s my list of things women should do in order to feel more confident about themselves.

1. Remove all of your body hair. Legs, underarms, Brazilian. In fact, you should always keep yourself groomed in this manner. You’re a woman, not a man. You’ll feel better for it.

2. Do your hair. Wash it, style it. Make sure it’s coloured if you have roots showing. Or worse yet, greys. If you don’t have time, wear a cool hat (my trademark, given my hate for taking a brush to my mane). If you don’t have time to wash it, use dry shampoo, or put it in a top knot. Top knots are cool too. It shows off your face and your décolletage (and stops you from twirling your hair around your finger like an anxious teenager).

3. Put on makeup. Even if it’s just a little bit. I find even a little concealer, mascara and lipgloss works wonders. Also, the winged eyeliner look is always a classic when in doubt. It will open up those peepers. And for some reason, red lipstick makes you feel more confident too.

4. Wear jewelry. But not too much. There really is such a thing as too much jewelry. I personally always stick to my diamond crucifix necklace (I’ve worn a crucifix since my first holy communion when I was around 8 – in fact, it never comes off), a pair of diamond stud earrings, and a gold man style watch. I’m very set in my ways. And simple is always best. Less really is more.

5. Dress up. Wear something that you feel good in. Wear something that shows off your best assets. Have nice toned legs? Wear a cute pair of shorts. A tiny waist? Wear something to accentuate it. And if you’re having a fat day? Maxi-dresses all the way. In fact, my favourite go to outfit, is a maxi-dress and a blazer. It never goes out of style.

6. Wear a fake tan if you want to appear slimmer. Whilst I am perpetually tanned, given my olive skin and my love of the beach and the outdoors (I actually look like a little native of some remote island in the Pacific), and have actually never had a fake tan done, my friends that have, always look fabulous. It gives you that healthy glow. And appear a few kilos lighter.

7. Wear heels. It makes your legs look better, and makes you walk more femininely. I often try to wear heels, mostly because I am the height of a child, and would be bumping my head on coffee tables if I didn’t. If you’re not wearing heels, wear a cute pair of flats. But make sure those hooves are pedicured.

8. Wear “power knickers”. Sounds stupid right? Not really. Surely you have a favourite pair? I have a pair of red knickers that I wear if I’m feeling as though I’m lacking confidence. It’s just a placebo effect really, but for some reason, I feel better when I wear them. And like I always say, whatever gets you to where you need to go.

9. Also wear nice underwear regardless. If you’re wearing something tight, wear seamless underwear – not NO underwear. And if you have next to no breasts like me, and choose to skip wearing a bra, first make sure your outfit isn’t see-through, and for Gods sake, use Hollywood tape.

10. Paint your fingernails and toenails. And paint them the same colour. Red or black is always a winner. It’s timeless and classy. And keep your nails short too. You don’t want to be rivalling an extra from a low budget porno with super long talons. And it’s unhygienic too come to think of it.

11. Wear perfume. Find your signature scent. I have been wearing Issey Miyake for 20 years now. It’s my thing. And smells invoke memories. You’ll leave a lasting impression.

12. Moisturise your skin. Not just your face. Your entire body. I have Palmers Cocoa Butter in my bathroom, and I slather myself in it after each shower. You need to take care of your skin. And it will keep it nice and soft too. And again – YOU’RE A WOMAN.

13. Use eye drops. This is my secret. I use them every day. The eyes are the window to your soul. Or so they say. It will whiten them, making you look well rested, and give you that little twinkle to your eyes. Your eye makeup will look better too.

14. Make sure you talk. I’m a big talker. I’m highly communicative. Don’t let your nerves overcome you and sit there like a mute. But most importantly, listen. A conversation should be like a tennis match.

15. And finally, relax. Don’t overthink things. Go with the flow. Try not to fidget (I personally have a bad habit of twisting my stud earrings when I’m nervous or shy). Laugh. Be expressive. Show emotion. And most importantly, be yourself.

VIDEO BLOG: RESPECTING BOUNDARIES

I counted 25 times where I said “um”. I sound like a footballer being interviewed at the end of a game. Suffice to say I will never be a newsreader. Particularly with that hair. And I’m also speaking at lightning speed as if I’ve just smoked some crack. Can’t explain that one. Shyness overcomes me at times. I am not speaking as clearly and concisely as I would ordinarily. But that’s ok. It’s all about being authentic. Although I do say “fuck”, and “bitch” in this one. Which is tempered by my feminine floral dress…

 

BEST THING I’VE READ THIS YEAR

Not planning on writing a blog today, yet this morning whilst browsing through my Facebook feed, I stumbled across this article. A letter to Angelina Jolie, written by Brad Pitt.

I am constantly writing about people being like mirrors, and projecting our innermost states.

The moving words written by Brad Pitt should be a reminder of the profound effects your actions can have on another person.

It made me recall a quote from the author C. JoyBell C.

“You will manage to keep a woman in love with you, only for as long as you can keep her in love with the person she becomes when she is with you.”

So to all of the men out there, this article is for you.

(A link to the original article can be found here http://couplesandco.blogspot.se/2013/12/i-lost-hope-and-thought-that-well-get.html?m=1 and the excerpt is below):

destruktivna:</p>
<p>“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man.If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“                 <br />
- Brad Pitt</p>
<p>Sweet ❤️ 
 
“My wife got sick.  She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. 

She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs.

She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. 

Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. 

I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. 
After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. 

She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.

I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.

You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“           

– Brad Pitt

 

SHIT TO KEEP IN YOUR HANDBAG

My friend retrieved my handbag from the front seat of my car the other day.

“What do you have in here?” She asked me, as she struggled to lift it.

I always have carried a large handbag. Which is quite comical as I’m teeny tiny, so it almost looks as if I’m carting around a piece of luggage.

However I like to carry essentials with me. And I don’t mean any old essentials like lipgloss or car keys etc. Stuff you actually need.

My friend was humbled the other night as we sat eating dinner in a restaurant when she realised she had lost the back of her earring.

“I might have one” I told her.

“No…” She replied in disbelief.

After rummaging through my purse, sure enough, I found an earring back for her. I have all sorts of stuff in my handbag. It may be because I’m old, and I know what to expect, however here is a list of the shit any woman should carry in her bag:

1. Tampons – do you know how many times I’ve been asked for a tampon? Unless you’re menopausal, you’re gonna need these every month…
2. Lipgloss
3. Tissues – good for blotting excess oil from your face; in case you cry; in case you get a runny nose, or worse still, a nose bleed. Oh, and in case you go to a public restroom and there’s no toilet paper
4. Band aids – hello? Blisters?
5. Phone charger – you never know when you’ll need it
6. Needle and thread – clothes tear all the time. And buttons fall off too
7. Earring backs – you just never know when these will come in handy
8. Umbrella (there are small ones you can buy)
9. Bobby pins and hair elastics – again, I’ve been asked for these on numerous occasions
10. Perfume
11. Rescue Remedy – for anxiety. We all get nervous you know. Just remember to spray it UNDER your tongue
12. Snacks – ok, this isn’t mandatory, however if you read my “top ten fears” article, you will know I have an irrational fear of starving to death
13. Bottled water – just in case
14. Hand sanitizer – you never know when there’ll be nowhere to wash your hands

So do yourself a favour and buy a bigger handbag to cart all of these things around.

You’ll thank me later.

11 TIPS FOR DRESSING STYLISHLY

  1. I only wear makeup on the weekends, however I have a rule I always stick to. If you are doing a smoky eye, a nude lip is a must, and if you are wearing lipstick, keep your eyes light. The best day time makeup is an even base, mascara, bronzer and lip gloss.
  2. When it comes to dressing, you need to pick a team. If you are doing tight pants, you need to pair it with a loose top. Showing off your cleavage? Cover up your legs. Leave something to the imagination.
  3. My favourite looks are ones which are somewhat timeless. Skinny jeans and a leather jacket, maxi-dress and a blazer. These are my basics and I accessorize from here. My signature look is skinny leg jeans, t-shirt, fur vest, and ankle boots.
  4. Although I am a sucker for prints, my wardrobe predominantly consists of black, white, beige and grey. I will mix it up every now and again with a pop of colour, but I generally save this for my accessorizing.
  5. Accessorize with the following – Fur vests / collars, hats, printed scarves (leopard print never goes out of fashion, and I consider it a neutral), cuffs, and band t-shirts.
  6. I own very little shoes for someone with a shopping addiction. My top tips for shoes are a black pump in suede, patent, and leather, a nude patent pump, a beige suede pump, a textured snakeskin print pump – (all four of these in either a peep-toe or closed toe) grey or black ankle boots, a neutral coloured wedge bootie, and a dressy sandal / flat. I am also currently a sucker for the wedge hi-top sneakers that have been around for a while. I live in these right now, and they go with everything.
  7. Even though I am quite quirky with the way that I dress at times, I am very classic when it comes to other things. I almost always wear just small stud earrings, and always wear black nail polish, with the exception of red if I’m feeling festive. I am personally not a fan of the French manicure, and I think it looks ghastly when woman have very long nails, and it’s also a little unhygienic when you think of it. Keep your nails short and square, and always paint your nails, and toenails.
  8. Top wardrobe items? A black leather biker jacket, skinny leg jeans (in black, white, grey, marle, red, leopard print, and blue), leather leggings, faux fur vest (in black, white, and natural), scarves in every print and colour imaginable, a black, white, and beige blazer, a black leather pencil shirt, a fedora, and a black maxi-dress. Build on it from here with other items such as jumpsuits, playsuits, shorts (I live in shorts through summer), palazzo leg pants, overalls, printed shirts, and anything with studs is always a winner, as well as anything in lace and leather.
  9. Looks that I personally hate? Kitten heels, anything with crystals or sequins, fake tan, long nails, hair extensions, too large breast implants (it makes you look like a porn star), flats in the evening, short, tight dresses, bright blue anything, wedges with dresses, and too much make up.
  10. When it comes to hair, I have had a very bad habit for the last 20 years of seldom brushing or washing my hair. However I do love having long hair, and I always stick with only a few different looks. Straight, wavy (think Olivia Palermo), and boho (aka beach hair). Every now and again I will rock a top-knot or a ponytail, and when your hair is dirty or you don’t feel like doing it, dry shampoo works wonders, as do hats, and can make an outfit interesting.
  11. Don’t be afraid to try new trends, and only wear what suits you. Develop your own personal sense of style. I definitely have my own sense of style and it’s evident when friends say things to me like “that’s such an Amy outfit”, or “it suits you, but I could never pull it off”. Dress how you like, and what best flatters your figure. How you dress is a way to express yourself.