As I have entered the part of my life where I am reluctantly now ticking the “35-49” age box, (and for those of you who don’t know how old I REALLY am – I have been 27 for 9 consecutive years now…) I have realised something.
The older I get, the more I realise how little I actually know about anything.
I know nothing about nothing.
Which is a bit of a lie of course.
I know a lot about a lot.
I’ve had a stack of different life experiences to draw upon.
I listened to a talk by the late philosopher Allan Watts the other day titled, “The Value Of The Psychotic Experience”.
He used the analogy of seeing a bunch of fighter jets flying in the sky.
He asked the question, that if one of the jets breaks away from the rest, who is it that is going in the right direction?
That’s a very interesting question.
Those that do not follow the pack, are often deemed as “crazy”.
Why is it that if we do not go along with what everyone else is doing, are we labelled as being completely mad?
And a more important question to ask – how do we know who, or what is right?
Is the one that has broken away from the pack crazy?
How would we know?
From my own experiences (and obviously, that’s all that I have to draw upon), I can only offer up this question.
What is right for you?
What if, by following that proverbially less traveled road, we discover that that’s the sane path?
So many of us are so afraid to break away from the pack.
Because it’s weird.
Because it’s lonely.
Because there is often no clear path mapped out for us.
Because we are so afraid of what other people might think of us.
Having come through the other side of having broken away from what was expected from me, I can offer up this advice.
It is weird to NOT DO what everyone else does. But it’s even more weird to DO what everyone else does.
Especially if everything within your being is pleading with you to go in the other direction.
It is ABSOLUTELY lonely to go off in the direction that no one else is going. You are going to be ostracised. I will tell you that right now.
It’s impossibly isolating at times to honour what you are silently, but powerfully being drawn towards.
But it’s when you have to ask yourself that confronting question – what really matters?
What is more important?
What other people think of you?
Or what you think of yourself?
In the end, we are the only ones that truly have to live with ourselves. We are the ones that need to be able to sleep soundly at night. We are the only ones that truly know what peace feels like for us.
There really is no clear path mapped out for any of us.
Particularly when we have been convinced that the only true path is that of everyone else’s.
Who made up that rule?
Who created that path?
I am here to tell you that it is a total load of crap.
You do what’s right for you.
Because in the end, everyone is only looking out for themselves.
Everyone has an agenda.
Yes – even you.
We are totally afraid of what other people will think of us.
Because we are human beings, as spiritually evolved as we would have ourselves believe that we are above all of that shit.
The reality of it all is this:
We can only ever validate the image of our ourselves, through the recognition of another.
We are constantly being reflected though the eyes of something external to ourselves.
Like Allan Watts also philosophically quotes – we cannot kiss our own lips.
We cannot bite our own teeth.
We cannot taste our own tongue.
Yet, we also cannot ignore our intuition on account of our own vanity.
We cannot discard what it is that we feel, purely because it doesn’t resonate with another.
From my own personal experiences throughout my 27 years *cough*, I have come to recognise that whilst I am painfully aware that I know nothing, and like everyone else I do often rely upon the validation of another, I do know how I feel.
And if something doesn’t feel good, I have to set it down.
I cannot be weighted down for the sake of what other people may think of me.
Because I will be dragged into the depths of someone else’s reality, that may well be my version of hell.
I have to have the humility to understand that whilst I might not know a thing, I know what makes me feel good. And what makes me feel bad.
And if it’s contrary to what is “expected” of me?
Hey – that’s the price I pay for peace.
So today, I ask you to look at who you think you are on account of what others tell you that you should be.
At who you know that you really are, deep within your centre.
And take a chance.
Who are you REALLY?
Just like that fighter jet that broke away from the rest of them.
You can only go with what feels right for you.
And who’s to say what’s right or wrong – except for what you feel that’s right for you.
Because we will never truly know who is right or wrong unless we have the courage to go with our gut, and break away from the pack.
All that matters is what is right for ourselves.
So what message do I want to drive home with this article?
If it doesn’t feel good, be brave enough to let go of the fear of how you may appear to others.
Understand that we are all different.
Let go of your ego.
Let go of the fear.
And accept this one thing:
“I’m not like the rest”.