My first article for 2015…
I’ve been meaning to publish something for quite some time now, yet I’ve dropped off the radar a lot so far this year. I am in deep contemplation.
I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to write about, yet I’ve gone back into my shell like I so often maddeningly do.
So today, I am writing a letter to the women in my life. My constants. You know who you are.
It is a thank you letter.
I want to thank you for never giving up on me.
For humouring me constantly (even though I’m often the one doing the humouring).
For never judging me (even when I’m harshly, and often unfairly judging myself).
For letting me cry pathetically to you. You know how it goes with me. And I often blow my nose on my clothing when the floodgates open.
For placing me carefully under your wings, and attempting to protect my delicate, and powerfully naive heart from the mistakes I often make regardless of your advice (because I stubbornly never listen, and am a sucker for learning the hard way).
For not giving me too much grief for the fact that I hadn’t showered since Wednesday (I showered this morning FYI).
For accepting that my rose-coloured glasses are stupidly planted firmly on my nose constantly.
For calling me out on my bullshit.
For laughing both with me, and at me.
For being able to call you at any time of the day or night.
For looking after me. Always.
For fattening me up when it’s required, due to my sometimes bad eating habits.
For accepting me for the total nut-job that I am.
For loving me when I”m not very loveable.
For taking me out to lunch, and dinner.
For taking me shopping.
For taking me to the beach.
For making me cups of tea.
For bringing me glasses of wine.
For taking beautiful photos of me when I’m deep in thought, and twirling my hair like a small child. Where my hidden sadness is written all across my expressive face.
For your excellent oxytocin hugs.
For letting me stay with you as long as I need.
For encouraging, and supporting me.
For telling me I’m beautiful (and telling me I’m ugly too).
For being there during my many “conniption fits”.
For making me leave the house (and sometimes the country) when I really didn’t want to. Or was just afraid to.
For checking in on me when I go quiet.
For reminding me that I’m loved.
For talking to me until I fall asleep.
For asking me for advice (that, I’m particularly flattered over, seeing as I’m often a monumental fuck-up).
For seeing me at my absolute worst, and loving me anyway.
And for being my world.
My friend. My companion. My mother. My sister. My Aunty. My everything.
My unwavering constant.
In the past 12 months, I have come to discover the powerful impact that someone taking your hand can have. To assist you in your life journey.
I am completely floored by the support I have had from the women in my life.
And it makes me wonder about the notion of “soulmates”. The whole notion of finding your “other half”.
Of if it doesn’t necessarily have to be in the romantic sense.
Because I have found my soulmate in all of these beautiful people. All of them.
Those that reflect back to me what I so often forget is so special, and magnetically infectious about me.
That remind me constantly of the spark that I possess, even when I think it has been extinguished forever.
So whilst todays article is a thank you letter, there’s also a lesson in this piece.
To draw upon the support of those around you. To drop the walls, and allow them to be your “other half”.
It’s not a sign of weakness, but one of strength.
To keep your heart soft no matter what, and to never be too proud (or too stubborn) to let people into your life.
You might discover that your soulmate is much closer to you than you may think.
(On a side note, I’d also like to thank my Dad. Who does everything for me. Who never judges me. Who believes in me. Who allows me to make mistakes. Who listens to me and my nonsense. Who never says “no”. Who offers unbiased advice. Who keeps my secrets. Who loves me unconditionally. Who is stupidly proud of me no matter what I do. Even when I do really silly things.
As I wrote this evenings article, I was listening to John Mayer’s song “Daughters”.
The lyrics that stood out to me the most were these:
“I know a girl
She puts the colour inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls continually change
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me”
To all of the people that have crossed my path, and that are a part of my life, know that the way I am has nothing to do with you. It’s just the way I am. As much as an unsolvable riddle that I am.
The chorus then has a message in it too:
“Fathers, be good to your daughters”
My father is not only good to his daughters, he is exceptional. Outstanding. So as my unwavering constant, I also want to thank my Dad for loving me to the point of madness.
And above all, look after the women in your life. We are complicated. Indecisive. Completely bonkers. A contradiction. Highly emotional. Irrational.
But without women, none of us would be here.
Search tirelessly for your unwavering constant, and when you discover it, never, ever let it go…)