“That’s such an “Amy” thing to wear”.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that…
I love clothes. Love them. I own so many items of clothing, I could actually never repeat an outfit ever again.
I collect bits and pieces from all over the world, and throw them together in an often eclectic fashion. I think that your clothes are an extension of your personality.
It’s another way to express yourself. It’s shows where you’ve been, where you’re headed, and what you’re about.
This afternoon, I headed to my local cafe to grab a coffee. The staff there are often the only people I see throughout the day. My only human interaction.
It takes an enormous amount of solitude for me to be me. And I really need a lot of time alone in order to create.
Which is quite ironic, considering that today’s article is all about how we are perceived through the eyes of others.
“Your hat is really cool” the barista told me.
“Thank you. I only wear hats so I don’t have to do my hair” I responded, jovially.
“I love hats. I just bought one recently, but I’m too afraid to wear it” he went on.
“Why are you afraid? Just wear it! Hats are fun.” I told him.
“You really suit hats. Maybe I’ll start wearing mine.” He said.
Hats are my thing. I wear one 90% of the time. Sometimes I feel as though I wear a hat to hide. I like to remain inconspicuous at times, and it’s almost like my security blanket. Other times, I feel as though it is my most recognisable trait.
I recall a few months back now, running into an old school friend at the shops.
“I recognised you from your hat” she said, as we greeted each other.
So perhaps I’m not as inconspicuous as I think I am.
In my mind later on, I went back to the baristas comment on being too afraid to wear his hat.
A lot of us do things like this.
Suppress our true identities, and passions in order to conform. Too afraid to let the light of our spirit shine through. Fear of judgement from others.
Everything in life comes down to two motivating forces.
Fear, and love.
A few years ago now, when I begun my spiritual journey, I read a quote by the inspiring Kelly Cutrone, about being true to yourself.
“This was when I learned that you have to give up your life as you know it to get a new one: that sometimes you need to let go of everything you’re clinging to and start over, whether because you’ve outgrown it or because it’s not working anymore, or because it was wrong for you in the first place.”
I believe that that’s what all of us need to do. To give up your old life as you know it to get a new one. To sit in our solitude and recognise what’s no longer working for us. And that by letting certain things go, we create space for new things to enter.
The quote on my private facebook wall is also from Kelly Cutrone. It reads:
“Sometimes, if not most of the time, you find out who you are, by figuring out what, and who you are not.”
I think that in life, we need to be constantly putting ourselves out of our comfort zones in order to discover who we really are. And to own who we are.
And if for some reason through that process, we discover who we truly are, by figuring out who we are not? Well… Then be constantly moving, and evolving into that authentic self we are meant to become.
Don’t let fear hold you somewhere you know you can’t possibly be. Literally, and metaphorically.
Fear will hold you back. And love will set you free.
One day last week, whilst I was away with my soul sister, I sat down naked on the chair after a shower, and began to pluck my eyebrows. I’m completely neurotic, and have a penchant for grooming my eyebrows every single day.
Instead of being reprimanded for my nakedness, my friend started taking pictures of me in my most vulnerable state. Because I don’t have any fear of being myself, she too radiated my fearlessness. And the shots she took of me without me knowing, were beautiful. Because I was unapologetically being me.
It is only when we let the illusion of fear slip away, that we can truly see ourselves in the best possible light.
I truly believe that every single person who crosses our path is there to serve us in some way. To reveal another layer of ourselves.
Without having these confronting, and sometimes uncomfortable interactions, we will never be able to get to where we need to go.
One woman I met recently whilst I disappeared on one of my many soul-searching sabbaticals, had an interesting conversation with me on one of my last nights before I temporarily headed back to what, for now, is my home. (Even though I personally believe that we carry our home in our hearts, which we take everywhere with us.)
“I’m so glad I met you. You have given me so much confidence.” She told me.
To me, she was already confident. I was flattered that it took the meeting of our souls to awaken that knowledge that was already there, that I so tangibly felt within her.
And it made me realise something.
We do often need the reflection of our own beauty to be mirrored in the eyes of others, in order to understand what we are all about.
So my message today, is to always be true to yourself.
Seek out those who fan your flames. Let your love be stronger than your fear.
Allow people to see you for who you really are, beneath your disguise, and also, with whatever seemingly inconspicuous facade you have chosen to adorn yourself with. Even if you have to get naked to do that.
Never be afraid of putting yourself out there.
That is the definition of true love. Love of yourself.
When you are able to understand that love of self, only then will you be unapologetic about who you are in your heart.
And because all of us all like mirrors, constantly projecting, and reflecting, you will see that love is all around. Because you ARE love.
So is my style “such an “Amy” thing?”
But I think “Amy” is tops.
And because of that, all that I radiate is love, and I am devoid of the polarity of fear in terms of putting myself “out there”. I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me, aside from me.
Let love be your motivation, and accept yourself for who you really are, and then everyone else will see you for who you unapologetically are.
(And to that barista in the cafe today – wear your goddamn hat. Stop letting fear of judgement stopping you being who you are.)