STOP BEING WHO YOU WERE, AND CHANGE INTO WHO YOU ARE

The first thing I do when I get into work is get my “other brother” to make me a coffee.

I like to do this. It eases me into the work day, and we get to chat about a bunch of things. Life, business, life…

Today’s conversation was a little different, and my own life, and the plans I have for it were the topic of conversation.

I’m of the belief that a true friend will call you out on your bullshit. And that’s precisely what happened today.

“What happened to you wanting to be a writer?” He asked me.

“I am a writer. I’m doing it” I responded. Mildly annoyed that I was in a sense, being challenged.

I’m very, very hard headed.

“Yeah but you keep dwelling on the past. I want to see you with a book released in the next 12 months, travelling the world on a book tour. Isn’t that what you want? Do you know how cool it is that you’re a writer? I don’t know any writers” he went on.

Yeah. It is pretty cool when I really think about it.

Even when I introduced myself to all of the fascinating people I met whilst I was away, and they asked me what I did, that was always my response.

“I’m a writer”.

It’s kind of weird saying it out loud. Even if that is “what I do”.
I write.

People were always, without fail, very intrigued.

I guess it is kind of interesting. To turn words into stories. God knows I am an avid reader myself.

However I couldn’t get the relatively firm reprimanding out of my head.

I am always stupidly honest, so I expect the same in return.

And whilst I knew that it was uncomfortable for my progeny to have this conversation with me, particularly being 10 years my junior, and with me acting as a “mentor” to him at times,

I know that it was a discussion that needed to be had.

I am dwelling on the past. I am very aware of that. But it’s a part of who I am. Or at least, who I was.

One of my favourite quotes is from C.S. Lewis.

“Have I gone mad?” – The Mad Hatter (of “Alice in Wonderland)

Yes. I am quite possibly “mad” to a lot of people. But in the most spectacular way possible.

And I think the response that Alice gives, sums it up beautifully.

“I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

I think when you are truly passionate about anything, and you are following your heart, it may seem as though you have gone a little “mad”.

Particularly as if often involves walking away from everything familiar. And that takes a lot of courage.

And it comes with having the task of taking responsibility for the sometimes destruction that you have created as a result.

But there is beauty in destruction.

In dissembling what you thought was your reality. It clears the way, and opens your eyes to the foundations of what was always there to begin with, yet you’ve masked with something else.

Now in no way am I promoting that an ending of a long term relationship is what is going to lead you to your hearts desire, but I am asking today, what is it that needs to be done in order for you to get what you truly desire out of this relatively short life that we all lead?

What is it that you want? And what lengths are you willing to go to in order to make it your reality?

When in doubt, I always look to the inspirational Paulo Coelho, and I thought this was fitting for today’s post.

So I leave you with the following.

And as always, follow that motherfucking heart of yours…

“One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.

Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.

This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.” – Paulo Coelho

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