I had a lot of feedback from my last article that I published. Which is so strange. Because I certainly didn’t deem it my best work. Yet, I had reviews from readers that it was one of the most profound articles I’ve written.

I had people commending me on my bravery. On my ability to put myself out there. To share my story.

My story is not unique. But it is my story. And being a writer, I cannot help but to share my experiences. Because they are mine. I own them. They are my stories to be told.

One comment that had stuck with me is the one that I have taken my readers on a journey with me. Through my own struggles.

I’m not too proud to admit that I often stumble. I make mistakes. I cry a lot. I doubt myself constantly. I’m insecure. A little shy. It is what it is, and I am who I am. I make no apologies for that.

I don’t care that people know that I am weak and vulnerable sometimes. I am. Big deal. We all are. And anyone who disagrees with me is full of shit.

We are human beings for Gods sake. We are always going to experience a range of emotions throughout our lives.

“Your writing is real, unscripted, and brutally honest, which I respect a lot. Very few are as bold in their writing. The secret is to make it personal, because then you aren’t prescribing, and I think your transparency allows that, and helps people to relate.”

As a writer, having this feedback from a fellow writer, had me flattered beyond words.

I often forget that people are reading my stuff. It’s almost strange when people tell me they do.

And because I am so stupidly honest in my articles, a lot of people feel as though they know me on a personal level. And guess what? They do.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just be honest with one another and say how we are really feeling instead of putting up those walls in order to protect ourselves? In order to create the illusion of the facade?

But here’s the flip side of that statement.

I am fiercely private. I don’t let a lot of people get close to me, in fear of them seeing how much hard work I can be at times. There are certainly things that I keep my heart protected from. Far away from my sleeve. I talk too much, I cry too much, I need constant reassurance as I’m very often riddled with self-doubt.

But I also have that old chestnut of polarity.

I am very funny. And a lot of fun. I am full of energy. I never judge anyone. I laugh all the time. And I can be vey confident in my own abilities. And I am brave.

A vast proportion of that time I am a force to be reckoned with.

But I am still that sensitive, vulnerable, eternal teenager. Peter Pan.

But Peter Pan is just a fairytale right?

I think a lot of people desperately want the fairytale. Which is why they perhaps follow my writing. To see the evolution in which takes place in all of us. Maybe I give people hope. I don’t know.

They want the “happily ever after”. And believe me, I want it too.

Sometimes I feel as though it comes back to the myths and fairytales that we humans create in order to explain certain mysteries in life.

Like the Greek myth of Nemesis and Narcissus.

And these two characters kind of go hand in hand.

The dictionary definition for Nemesis is as follows:

“The inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall.”

And the definition for a narcissist is:

“Someone in love with themselves”

So now to the myth of Nemesis and Narcissus.

“In the Greek tragedies Nemesis appears chiefly as the avenger of crime and the punisher.

The word Nemesis originally meant the distributor of fortune, neither good nor bad, simply in due proportion to each according to what was deserved. Later, nemesis came to suggest the resentment caused by any disturbance of this right proportion, the sense of justice that could not allow it to pass unpunished.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope. He was exceptionally proud of what he did to those who loved him. 

Narcissus was a very beautiful and arrogant hunter, who disdained the ones who loved him.

Nemesis lured him to a pool where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realising it was only an image. He was unable to leave the beauty of his reflection and he eventually died. Nemesis believed that no one should ever have too much good, and she had always cursed those who were blessed with countless gifts.”

Its important in life, to retain your sense of humility, and your sense of balance. After all, it was that lack of balance that helped Nemesis lure Narcissus to his ultimate demise.

However, we should also try to encompass both traits from these mythological characters.

We should love ourselves. Because only in loving ourselves are we able to allow others to love us. Isn’t that also what the story of “Beauty And The Beast” teaches us?

Yet, there is always going to be that inescapable downfall. The life lesson in everything we undertake. It allows us to grow. And its good to fall. After all, life is a long lesson in humility. And being down is a good thing. Because it means that the only way from there is back up.

And speaking of growth, did you know that a flower, bearing the name of Narcissus sprung up and grew in the spot where he drowned?

The narcissus plant also bears medicinal properties. It is rumoured to “disperse whatever has collected in any part of the body”.

Which is kind of ironic. Because that means that it takes you back to being balanced. Something we all need in order to flourish and bloom.

So perhaps in order to become balanced, we need some part of us to perish, to fully understand what I always refer to as polarity.

I’m so determined to have my fairytale, and to continue to learn and to grow into the best possible version of myself, that you’ll never be able to keep me down for long.

Maybe the only villains and heroes in our lives are ourselves, and the knight in shining armour we need to save us, is just a metaphor. We are already the knight, and the armour is our ego. Start by shattering that armour, and everything you perceive to be true. Shatter those illusions. Drop your guard, and as always, let that heart of yours be drawn silently to what you desire.

To those of you who are “Chasing Amy’, keep watching this space. And I thank you for your continued encouragement and support.

And who says life isn’t a fairytale? Certainly not me…

 “Stay hungry, stay young, stay foolish, stay curious, and above all, stay humble because just when you think you got all the answers, is the moment when some bitter twist of fate in the universe will remind you that you very much don’t.” 

Tom Hiddleston

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