Today’s article is long as I haven’t published anything in over a week.
Because I am in love.
I am in love with Byron Bay.
I don’t know what it is about this place. It has this magnetic, and energetic hold on me. I’m myself when I’m here. Whole. Complete.
The little hippy, with the messy hair.
The more time I spend here, the more I am silently pulled towards staying longer, and longer.
I love Byron Bay. The beaches, the people, the smell of the air. My Aunty (especially my Aunty). Just everything.
Everyone is stupidly friendly here. And I seem to make friends effortlessly.
Although I try not to be judgmental (because I hate being judged), I couldn’t help but notice that there are a lot of what people may refer to as “drifters” here.
What do I mean by “drifters”?
People that are somewhat gypsy like in their lifestyles.
They’re neither here nor there. But they’re all happy. I think there’s a little secret they have.
The secret of balance.
I look at myself.
At my carefully and meticulously constructed life that I had built for myself and my future.
The life without balance.
And it made me reflect and question myself – did I get it all wrong?
Was I, like the saying goes, so busy making a living that I forgot to make a life?
Yes, and no.
I mean, you can’t have everything can you?
If I wanted financial security, I felt as though I had to sacrifice certain aspects of my life in order to create what I wanted.
With my eyes firmly focused on the prize, I manifested it.
But everything comes at a cost.
The cost of time that I cannot get back.
My late teens, all my 20’s, and half my 30’s spent working tirelessly and diligently like a woman possessed with a drive and ambition unparalleled.
Looking back, particularly in the relaxed state I’m currently in, I don’t know how I did it. And there are moments I even question myself WHY I did it.
I read somewhere the other day that the most successful people say no to most things. Actually Warren Buffet said that.
But what are you rejecting by saying no? What are you missing out on?
And now I come back to not being able to have everything.
I know first hand that you can’t have everything. At least not all at once.
There’s a price you pay for everything.
My Aunty wants me to move to Byron Bay and live up here with her.
She wants me to write and write and write.
“I’ll be your patron” she told me.
“All the artists and writers had patrons back in the day. Someone who supported them so they could continue with their craft”.
Relocating to Byron Bay, the happiest place on earth, the place where I have been the happiest in what seems like an eternity, is something that I’m mulling over. Or perhaps I’ll alternate between Sydney, and Byron Bay…
I love the people here. They’re so interesting. So eclectic. So free-spirited. And so happy.
I love the stories I get to listen to from the people I’ve met. I love to silently, and curiously observe people. Question everything. Probe that little bit deeper.
I was fascinated by the story I heard over breakfast about my Aunties friend who went to school at a convent. Who sometimes had to clean the nuns bedrooms where she would go through their drawers, finding sexy lingerie, and dildos.
I was beyond flattered when this group of friends discovered I am recently separated from a 13 year marriage, and was met with the surprised look, and the excellent question of “you don’t look old enough to have been married that long. What were you when you got married? 10?”
I laughed when another friend recounted an Anzac Day where she carried a flag through the RSL Club, and it got caught in the ceiling fan spinning above her.
I contemplated not being able to see the forest for the trees when a man told me that he grows marijuana plants at his house, but because he has them scattered here and there, no one ever really sees them. All they can see is green, at his leafy property.
That last conversation made me question illusions, and perhaps ignorance being bliss.
But also, that if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re never really going to find it.
Is it better to be blissfully unaware, or to be tirelessly searching until you find what it is you’re looking for?
I would have to say the latter.
Don’t we all want to hit our target? Don’t we all want the “prize”?
The earthly possessions I have collected through my 34 years have little meaning now.
My ambition now lies in the pursuit of happiness, and clinging blissfully to wherever I can find it. That’s the prize I desperately crave. To hold onto this feeling of bliss.
In her memoirs, Elizabeth Gilbert writes the following on happiness:
“People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you are fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.”
I do strive for happiness. I do insist upon it. Is relocating the way to fight for it?
I don’t know.
All I know, is I’m AT the happiest place on earth.
Whether that comes from within, or as a result of our surroundings, I guess makes no difference at all. So long as you’re there. That’s all that really matters.
So to wrap it up, I implore all of you to fight, to strive, to insist upon maintaining that level of happiness.
And keep balanced. Even if it means being a “drifter”.