SUPERMARKET THOUGHTS

You know what I’m talking about…

The thoughts we have at the supermarket. We all have them.

Yesterday I hit the gym again after a sabbatical to try and gain some weight after having lost it somewhere during the past month.

I was beginning to resemble Rachel Zoe’s long lost twin for a second there, but I’ve managed to gain the few kilos back now.

Thank you beer.

So I hit the gym, felt excellent for having done it (I was even welcomed back by the staff which I’m not sure if that’s sad or flattering), and headed to the supermarket to grab a few things for dinner. I was having a girlfriend over.

I was my usual self again, I felt energetic, and my mind over thinking with it’s usual stream of nonsense.

I wandered towards the milk fridge.

“Ohhh, yesssss. I can buy the milk that I like. My husband didn’t like this milk” as I grab the milk I prefer.

I wandered down the bread aisle.

“Hmmm. Do I want soy and linseed? Or pumpkin seed bread? Soy and linseed. Oh look, hot cross buns. Is it Easter already?”

I went to walk down the chocolate aisle. There was a woman dawdling in front of me in a daze, taking up the entire aisle.

“C’mon lady. It’s not normal to walk that slow.”

I then went to the toiletry aisle.

Again, another woman having a little micro sleep, and blocking my path.

“Hurry up fuckwit.” (God I’m mean sometimes in my head. Patience really is a virtue.)

Then I approached the body wash section.

“Hmmm. Mango and cocoa butter.”

I proceeded to unscrew the cap to see if I liked it.

“Mmmm….It smells like lollies.”

Then I spotted another one. Jasmine and green tea. I unscrewed that one.

“Oh, yes. I like this one much better.”

Then I remember I needed soap too.

“Soap, soap, soap…” (I’m tracing swirly lines in the air now searching for it – as if that helps)

“Ah. Soap” (upon locating it) “Why is soap so expensive?”

Then I head to the self service checkout. It’s very busy, and there’s a long queue.

I shuffle impatiently from foot to foot, complaining in my head at the length of time it takes for some people to scan their shit.

“C’mon bitches!”

It’s also around 4pm, so there’s a bunch of school kids with their parents. The parents are letting them scan the groceries. At an astonishingly slow speed.

“Really?” (I roll my eyes now, and mentally slap myself across the face for being a secret bitch).

My turn now. I walk to the checkout.

I then scan my items with great difficulty.

I accidentally scan my barcode on the keyring that contains my little gym swipey thing, wondering if that’s my karma for being so judgemental in my head.

“Excuse me” I say this audibly, trying to get the attention of the store assistant. “I’m sorry, I accidentally scanned my keyring thing”

She sorts it out for me.

“Oh, um, excuse me” I call out to the attendant again. I’ve clumsily scanned the little barcode on an avocado. Stupid me.

“See? Karma” my mind chimes in.

I then head to the liquor store to buy some wine. My girlfriend likes this Brown Brothers wine. Something called “Sienna”.

I search the store everywhere for this bottle and simply cannot find it.

“Excuse me? Can you help me? I’m looking for a wine. It’s a chilled red called Sienna” I ask the store assistant.

He wanders over to the shelf I had already walked past at least 3 times.

“Here you go.” He hands me the bottle.

“Oh it’s “Cienna”, with a “C”, not an “S” ” I say to him.

He looks at me like I’m an idiot.

“Why do you always have to speak?” my mind complains at the unnecessary comment I had just made.

I pay, and make my way to the car.

“Ugh, look how I parked. What an asshole” I say to myself as I observe that I’ve parked over the line and left no space for anyone else to park next to me.

I get into my car, and drive home.

So what’s the lesson in today’s article?

Well, all of us have “supermarket thoughts”. Of course our thoughts are not limited to the supermarket. We are constantly thinking.

Next, sometimes I can be really horrible with my thoughts. Aren’t all of us like this at times?

And next, I believe in karma.

I was not being nice with my thoughts, and the universe served me as a result, with a lesson in humility.

Oh, and I really need to learn how to park a car.

So I guess today’s advice is to stay positive with your thoughts, and try not to be judgemental and impatient.

Because what you think about, you really do bring about.

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