I spoke to a girlfriend last night who was going to meet with a gentleman for a drink.
She was feeling nervous, unattractive, and lacking confidence.
Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?
Whilst true confidence comes from within, I also believe that true confidence also comes from ensuring we do certain things to allow that inner confidence to shine through.
What am I talking about?
Well, I’m talking about things that make you feel better about yourself.
I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to this type of stuff. But I also think we should celebrate our femininity. And show up as the women we truly are.
So here’s my list of things women should do in order to feel more confident about themselves.
1. Remove all of your body hair. Legs, underarms, Brazilian. In fact, you should always keep yourself groomed in this manner. You’re a woman, not a man. You’ll feel better for it.
2. Do your hair. Wash it, style it. Make sure it’s coloured if you have roots showing. Or worse yet, greys. If you don’t have time, wear a cool hat (my trademark, given my hate for taking a brush to my mane). If you don’t have time to wash it, use dry shampoo, or put it in a top knot. Top knots are cool too. It shows off your face and your décolletage (and stops you from twirling your hair around your finger like an anxious teenager).
3. Put on makeup. Even if it’s just a little bit. I find even a little concealer, mascara and lipgloss works wonders. Also, the winged eyeliner look is always a classic when in doubt. It will open up those peepers. And for some reason, red lipstick makes you feel more confident too.
4. Wear jewelry. But not too much. There really is such a thing as too much jewelry. I personally always stick to my diamond crucifix necklace (I’ve worn a crucifix since my first holy communion when I was around 8 – in fact, it never comes off), a pair of diamond stud earrings, and a gold man style watch. I’m very set in my ways. And simple is always best. Less really is more.
5. Dress up. Wear something that you feel good in. Wear something that shows off your best assets. Have nice toned legs? Wear a cute pair of shorts. A tiny waist? Wear something to accentuate it. And if you’re having a fat day? Maxi-dresses all the way. In fact, my favourite go to outfit, is a maxi-dress and a blazer. It never goes out of style.
6. Wear a fake tan if you want to appear slimmer. Whilst I am perpetually tanned, given my olive skin and my love of the beach and the outdoors (I actually look like a little native of some remote island in the Pacific), and have actually never had a fake tan done, my friends that have, always look fabulous. It gives you that healthy glow. And appear a few kilos lighter.
7. Wear heels. It makes your legs look better, and makes you walk more femininely. I often try to wear heels, mostly because I am the height of a child, and would be bumping my head on coffee tables if I didn’t. If you’re not wearing heels, wear a cute pair of flats. But make sure those hooves are pedicured.
8. Wear “power knickers”. Sounds stupid right? Not really. Surely you have a favourite pair? I have a pair of red knickers that I wear if I’m feeling as though I’m lacking confidence. It’s just a placebo effect really, but for some reason, I feel better when I wear them. And like I always say, whatever gets you to where you need to go.
9. Also wear nice underwear regardless. If you’re wearing something tight, wear seamless underwear – not NO underwear. And if you have next to no breasts like me, and choose to skip wearing a bra, first make sure your outfit isn’t see-through, and for Gods sake, use Hollywood tape.
10. Paint your fingernails and toenails. And paint them the same colour. Red or black is always a winner. It’s timeless and classy. And keep your nails short too. You don’t want to be rivalling an extra from a low budget porno with super long talons. And it’s unhygienic too come to think of it.
11. Wear perfume. Find your signature scent. I have been wearing Issey Miyake for 20 years now. It’s my thing. And smells invoke memories. You’ll leave a lasting impression.
12. Moisturise your skin. Not just your face. Your entire body. I have Palmers Cocoa Butter in my bathroom, and I slather myself in it after each shower. You need to take care of your skin. And it will keep it nice and soft too. And again – YOU’RE A WOMAN.
13. Use eye drops. This is my secret. I use them every day. The eyes are the window to your soul. Or so they say. It will whiten them, making you look well rested, and give you that little twinkle to your eyes. Your eye makeup will look better too.
14. Make sure you talk. I’m a big talker. I’m highly communicative. Don’t let your nerves overcome you and sit there like a mute. But most importantly, listen. A conversation should be like a tennis match.
15. And finally, relax. Don’t overthink things. Go with the flow. Try not to fidget (I personally have a bad habit of twisting my stud earrings when I’m nervous or shy). Laugh. Be expressive. Show emotion. And most importantly, be yourself.