HOPE

I rarely write of an evening. My most creative writing comes in the morning as I sit in the sunshine and drink my morning coffee. I also rarely blog on a weekend. I don’t think many people read my stuff on a weekend.

But today I’ve decided to switch things up a bit. I’m sitting in my garden writing as usual, however my coffee is replaced with a glass of red wine, as I recall the lessons from the day.

I’m also drunk. Off one glass of wine. Which should be interesting.

Hope is a funny thing.

It’s like a wish.

I am very childlike. I have this vulnerability about me. An innocence. A naïveté.

I even resemble a child with my big brown eyes which are too large for my face, are full of wonder. My tiny stature. I’m not much bigger than a 12 year old. And of course those of you who read my articles would know I cry almost every day too like a child. Too sensitive I am. To everything. Which is probably why I’m intoxicated right now.

This afternoon I returned from lunch with my mother, and saw a Father Christmas floating through the air. I plonked my handbag down on the driveway, and reached up and plucked it from the sky.

I thought what I’d like to wish for, and the only thing I wanted popped into my head.

“I want to be happy” I said in my mind before blowing on the Father Christmas and releasing it off onto the ethers.

That’s all I want. I want to be happy.

I don’t want any material things – I have all of those. And Lord knows, happiness is not found in “things”.

That’s a trap a lot of people fall into. The “I’ll be happy when” trap.

I”ll be happy when I pay off my house. I’ll be happy when I lose 7 kilos. I’ll be happy when I have a nice car. I’ll be happy when I go on that holiday.

Let me tell you, I have had these things happen (aside from the losing weight bit – if anything I could do with gaining a couple of kilos). And you know what? Nothing changes. Everything is exactly as it was.

Why?

Because happiness is a state of mind. It comes from within. And what happiness means is different to everyone.

And then I thought of my bucket list.

Which comprises of very simplistic things. Probably because in my 34 years, I have lived somewhat of a chaotic life. I would like to simplify things. Although my first two things on my bucket list would suggest otherwise.

So here’s my bucket list:

1. I want to be a best-selling author
2. I want to be a famous blogger recognised for my writing ability (I’m getting there slowly with this one)
3. I want to always be beautiful both inside and out (I already am)
4. I want a passionate, romantic relationship
5. I want to be respected
6. I want to be healthy
7. I want a nice car (got it)
8. I want a nice home (got it)
9. I want to have good friends (got that too. They say you can only count your true friends on one hand)
10. I want to be strong, independent, and happy
11. I want to go to Hawaii
12. I want to be in a relationship that is loving and easy with no fighting
13. I want to be financially secure (thankfully, I am)
14. I want to go paddle boarding
15. I want to go to Seattle again
16. I want to feel more confident
17. I don’t want to be controlled by anyone
18. I want to be able to meditate properly (I simply CANNOT still my mind)
19. I want to find myself
20. I want to go canoeing in that river in Mullimbimby (it’s near Byron Bay)
21. I want to sleep on the beach one night

So today, I ask you to do something.

Write a bucket list. And start working towards crossing things off the list.

Think about what you REALLY want out of life. And love yourself for the person you are.

I’m a mad artist. A free spirit. Full of torment. Full of wonder. I’m a little bit crazy. A little bit difficult. A little too emotional. But I’m beautiful, both inside and out. And I love myself for the unique person I am.

I hope that we can all find what we’re searching for. But more importantly, I hope that we can all be true to ourselves and discover the meaning behind the all of the lessons that are placed before us. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that.

Hope for happiness. Send your wishes out into the universe. What you believe you’ll conceive. (And you’ll all be receiving a signed copy of my book).

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

A friend took me to the beach yesterday.

I wasn’t in the best of moods, and I actually didn’t feel like going anywhere that day.

Her and her sister chatted the whole way there. I sat in the back, mostly silent, next to my 6 year old buddy, who would every now and again, peek over at me to see if I was back to my normal joking self. He too was silent as a result of me.

I’ve been told in the past that I have a powerful aura, and my moods tend to permeate everything around me. Good on a good day. Not so good on a not so good day.

We arrived down to Sydney’s Northern Beaches, a place I had spent all of my youth visiting my cousins, my Aunty, and my Grandparents.

We wandered down onto the sand and made our way up to the far end of the beach where the ocean pool was.

The sea was angry and tumultuous. Mirroring the state I had found myself in that morning.

I believe in the healing, magnetic force of the ocean, and decided that despite the dangerous conditions, I would immerse myself in the water. A ceremonious cleansing of sorts.

And strangely enough, it had the desired effect.

The sweeping current of the waves crashing over me seemed to wash away my negativity.

I ventured back up to the spot we had positioned ourselves in, and lay down under the gaze of the hot sun above me.

My friends sister started commenting on my body.

“God you’re sexy. I’m gonna start going to the gym. You’re good motivation to have around”

“Oh shut up as if” I shyly responded.

“Mate, you’ve gotta learn to love yourself a bit more”

Perhaps she’s right.

We changed topics now, and started to discuss the recent case of the Gittany murder trial.

Current affairs are always on the agenda.

Then my friends sister had some sort of a brain snap, and began going off on a tangent about what it would be like to be in prison.

“I’d like to be a prison bitch”

“Like a warden?” My friend asked her sister.

“Nah, like a prisoner. If I were in prison, I’d be like one of those psychos. I’d bash people. Must be all of the psychedelic drugs I used to take”

I laughed. I looked at her and I couldn’t help it. Here sat this 4 foot ten woman, clearly lacking physical strength, speaking of how tough she is. Perhaps it’s got more to do with mental strength. Brains over brawn.

“Yeah, I’d make tools to kill people with. I’d go into the shower, and when they aren’t looking, “bam” (she used a stabbing motion now), and I’d be like “oh! What happened!” And I’d throw away my weapon”. She laughed. She was taking the piss.

“And I’d be the biggest lesbian in there. I don’t care. I’d turn lesbian. It would only take me a week. What’s the big deal? We all have needs”

My friend and I looked at each other incredulously and burst out laughing.

“I watched a documentary once on. women’s prison. They were talking about how they make dildos out of all sorts of things” I told her.

“Mate, you could use anything. You could use a brick. They’d be looking for me and they’d find me outside, sculpting the brick into a dildo”

I couldn’t breathe now. I was in hysterics.

“See, jails are not all that bad. You learn stuff. How to make weapons, sculpting…They should make it mandatory to have a dildo session. From like 12 till 1 each day before lunch. I betcha there’d be no sickies then hey. And everyone would be so much calmer. And then they have to disinfect them. Someone would have to go round collecting them. But that would be the dogs job”

My friend and I were on the floor. Some people have wild imaginations.

My little buddy slept throughout this whole enlightening monologue. When he woke, he was in a particularly foul mood. And it was time to leave.

He cried, and cried. He was thirsty. He wanted to go for a swim. He hated the sand on him.

Us girls discussed how when you were a kid and you used to have naps, you’d wake up with the shits and wouldn’t know what you were crying about.

That can happen as adults too I guess.

We went to the Newport Arms Hotel after that. As my friend and I were waiting at the bar to buy some beers, I turned and said to my friend “I’ve never been here before, but for some reason I have dejavu”.

“Did your Grandfather used to come here?”

“I don’t think so”

“Maybe you can feel his spirit”

“Maybe”

My Aunty tried to phone me then. I rejected her call, told her where I was, and that I’d call her later.

“No prob. Have fun. One of Grandpa’s favourite places to go when we were kids was The Arms” came her response.

Perhaps I could feel his spirit after all.

We left after a while (and after my little buddy had tripped, ripping half his toenail off in the process, and putting on a spectacular display of waterworks), and headed home.

I was feeling relaxed by now. Swimming and beer is always a winning combination. And so is laughter.

On the way home we were talking about something where I made a comment about someone having a sedentary lifestyle.

My friends sister piped up.

“Cemetery? What do you mean?”

“Sedentary. Like sedate” being a writer I have an exceptional vocabulary that at times requires an explanation.

“Ohhhh” she was looking at a man crossing the road now.

“That man is sedentary” she said.

“No you can’t use it like that. He’s not being sedentary at all. You could say it if he were overweight and sitting at a bus stop or something”

“So I say to someone, you’re a sedentary person”

“No. Just don’t use that word. It can be offensive. You don’t say that to someone”

I don’t know if she was just being funny now, or if she was for real. But I laughed anyway.

I sat quietly again now, and thought “I feel better”.

Sometimes we fall into the trap of wallowing and feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes you can’t snap yourself out of it without someone else assisting you.

Surround yourself with people who can lift your spirits. Children, jovial people. People who make you feel good about yourself. People who can see what sometimes you can’t. We all have a degree of infectiousness about us, and it’s always beneficial to seek out those who lift us higher.

Say yes to things you don’t really feel like doing. You never know where the day will take you. And remember to laugh. It’s important to not take life so seriously. None of us get out alive anyway.

And remember, laughter really is the best medicine.

DISCOVERING YOUR LUCK

My garden is full of clover.

Because I sit in the garden to write, I often get distracted and start day dreaming.  I often look down at the ground and almost always manage to find a four leaf clover.

They say there’s only one in every hectare. But I can honestly confirm that to be bullshit.

They also say that it brings you luck. I can confirm that to be bullshit also.  We make our own luck.

There’s no such thing as luck.

I suppose it’s “lucky” to be able to find these rare four leaf clovers, but I think it’s got more to do with opening your eyes, and concentrating on what it is you’re searching for.  When I do find these clovers, I’m actually looking for them. And I almost always manage to find them. It’s always a deliberate find.

Those that do not open their eyes and actively search, will claim that you are indeed lucky. Yet all it took was paying attention. And a little bit of a combination of patience, focus, and tenacity. You will almost always find what you are searching for on a long enough time line.

Why do you always hear people telling you to never give up? It’s your will and determination that determine your “luck”. Nothing else.

The same principles can be applied to life.

You need to keep your eye on the prize. Focus on what it is you are after.

I remember reading “The Secret” quite a few years ago. I was on a flight from LA to Auckland.

I arrived in Auckland, and the next morning when I woke, I went and had breakfast. It was winter time, so I was wearing a scarf.

I sat down in the restaurant, and it was quite warm. I removed my scarf, and placed it over the back of chair. In my mind I said “I mustn’t forget that”.

After breakfast, I got in the elevator and headed downstairs.

“Damn” I said in my mind, mentally slapping my forehead. I’d forgotten my scarf.

That’s the power of your mind. What you think about, you bring about.

I was so intensely focused on not leaving my scarf behind, that that’s exactly what I did.

“The Secret” teaches that wherever you send your thoughts, they will manifest as such.

After all, everything began as a thought.

You and I began as a thought.  Whatever you’re wearing right now started as a thought. Look down at what you’re wearing, and think about how that outfit came to be. The way you’re wearing your hair today began as a thought. Whatever you eat for lunch today would be as a result of a thought.

The car you drive, the job you’re in, the way your home is furnished. You have actively participated in the creation of it all.

That’s also why I say that I don’t believe in God. That we are God.

We create everything that we have. We manifest it. Our luck, our sorrow, our wealth, our lack of wealth, our children, our everything.

It all begins as a thought.

Even the act of prayer, is essentially a thought. Driving a strong current into the universe of what we desire.

Now, I’m a walking contradiction so I will admit to something right now – sometimes, I pray. I pray to God. I’ve actually been praying a lot lately.  But what I think I’m really doing is sending out my hopes and wishes into the universe. I’m focusing on what I want.

And sometimes I don’t have the answer, so I pray to that higher self that resides within, to help me find the answer.

I often find we are a little disconnected from that higher self, and that’s where a lack of focus and direction comes from. Not knowing what we want.

We all connect through different channels. I always say “whatever gets you to where you need to go”.

For some, it’s through organised religion. For others, through sport. And for others through meditation.

The common bond with all of it is FOCUS.

Which of course, brings me back to my uncanny knack of finding the rare and lucky four leaf clovers.

All it takes to find your “luck”, is focus.

Concentrate on what you’re searching for, don’t be distracted, and I guarantee you will always find whatever it is you’re searching for.

And whatever it takes to find what you’re searching for, is true, and right for you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Draw on whatever resources you have, and whatever gets you to where you need to go.

Only then will you discover your “luck”.

WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS

As I wander outside yesterday morning, coffee in hand, about to sit down in the sun for my morning ritual of attempting to write, my senses are suddenly overwhelmed.

I open the door, and the humid air fills my nostrils. My mind is taken back momentarily to that of being a child. There’s a familiar smell to it. One I later recognised as the smell of an approaching thunderstorm.

There is a slight breeze which carries with it the smells of a summer morning.

The scent of jasmine lingering in the air, the sweet smell of freshly cut grass, and the smell of coming rain.

My Mum used to tell me she could smell the rain coming. I used to be fascinated by that.

It wasn’t until I grew older did I understand the what that smell was. And to know that it also possesses a charge in the air. An electricity. Some of us are highly sensitive and have an inbuilt barometer of sorts.

So here I sat. The humid air clinging to my skin. There’s a heaviness about it. My hair is relenting to the moisture in the air. The wispy baby hairs that frame my forehead springing into loose ringlets.

And it got me thinking about moisture and the important role it plays in our lives. Or pressure for that matter.

Every intense reaction results in moisture being released. A pressure build up in a sense.

After a really hot day, we will often see the worst storms. The storms purpose is to cool things down.

Experiencing intense joy or deep despair will result in tears. Tears contain a chemical which calms you.

Becoming aroused – you don’t need an explanation of the mechanics involved here.

Being sick will result in liquid being expelled from your body. Releasing the toxins.

Giving birth will result in your breasts releasing milk. The life source for the child.

Intense exertion will mean you break into a sweat. To regulate your body temperature.

But back to this humidity bringing a feeling of nostalgia flooding back to me.

And it makes me think it’s so much easier to be a child. Not a care in the world. Not having to worry about a myriad of decisions that are thrust upon us on a daily basis.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I say what doesn’t kill you, changes you.

Tears you up inside a little bit and breaks you in a sense. It transforms you into something different. You can’t go back to who you were yesterday. Because yesterday you were a different person. You can’t un-see things. Un-learn things. Un-feel things. You just can’t. They have all happened to serve your own evolution.

So what about moisture and any of this playing some type of role in evolution? I don’t think it’s the role of water that has played a part as much as the role of pressure. Too much pressure will always have an intense reaction.

But pressure can be for your own good. After all, it’s how diamonds are made.

So feel whatever it is you are feeling. Let your intuition guide you. Pay attention to your dreams, both literally and metaphorically. Pay attention to your surroundings. And allow pressure to transform you. It all serves a purpose.

Sometimes you just have to wait for that storm to pass to see the beauty of what remains. Sometimes it can be more breath-taking than before.

TRUST NO ONE

It’s a pretty bleak title huh?

I don’t not trust anybody. That’s a lie. But I do trust only a select group of people. Life has taught me this. To have trust requires vulnerability. Because you have to be honest.

Honest with your feelings, honest with your flaws, honest with your secrets.

I have almost been dared to write this article today. As I like to have some diplomacy about me, I’ll have to attempt to write this as cryptically as I can. I feel a little like Carrie Bradshaw when she wrote of her golden shower request in the Sex and the City episode titled “Politically Erect”.

So, what is the message in today’s article? Well, it’s about trusting no one. Which is a harsh call. I will do my best to deliver today’s lesson in the most dignified manner.

A lot of people, don’t like to see others succeed. No. That’s not right either. A lot of people don’t like anyone to be better than them. That’s a better way to put it.

Now I am not a jealous person. And I’m adult enough to understand that there is always going to be someone more beautiful, more talented, more successful, and more driven than me.

It does not rouse feelings of envy within me. If anything it helps me appreciate that person for who they are and pushes me to become better. That’s why having a mentor is important.

But what happens if the people you trust, covets what you have achieved for yourself?

What happens if they pick your brain for advice? You should be flattered right? You should spill the beans and tell them everything they want to know. Right? Right?

After all, you would just assume that they are looking to learn from your own successes and they are only seeing how to implement your own successful method in their own pursuits. Right?

Not necessarily.

What if, they are so unoriginal in their own thinking, that they actually want to not only implement your method, but downright steal it for themselves?

Should you be flattered? After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But there’s a fine line.

Let’s use the example of clothing.

I love clothes. I am always seeking inspiration from a variety of sources. Magazines, girls on the street, my girlfriends, my sister. You get the drift.

So let’s make a little scenario to give a look at that fine line of flattery and downright theft.

Jessica and Lisa are attending a charity ball.

Scenario 1:
Jessica is very fashion forward, and Lisa and her are going dress shopping together as Lisa wants some inspiration from Jessica. They go into a dress store where Jessica assists Lisa in styling up an outfit. Jessica helps find a colour and style that flatters Lisa. They both purchase suitable attire for the evening after having a fun time participating in some retail therapy. They attend the ball together and both look fabulous. A success all round.

Scenario 2:
Lisa goes along with Jessica to the dress store. She looks to Jessica for inspiration, praising her for her effortless style, yet tries nothing on herself. She takes note of all the beautiful gowns she is trying on and gushes over her new purchase once she finally decides on the one. Lisa goes to that same store by herself the next day, purchases the exact same dress as Jessica, yet doesn’t tell her. Upon arriving at the ball, Jessica sees that Lisa is wearing her dress. Jessica is floored. Why would Lisa do that? But Lisa is indignant in her response. “I can wear whatever I like. It’s a free world”.

Indeed it is a free world. There is no stopping anyone from doing anything. There are no written contracts in place to say you cannot imitate someone else, however from a moral viewpoint, is it wrong?

I’m normally on the fence about most things in life, but this particular scenario I feel quite strongly about.

So is it wrong? Absofuckinglutely.

The sneakiness in which Lisa behaved towards Jessica in scenario 2, shows what type of person she is. She is secretive, ruthless, unimaginative, and envious. She is not even concerned about the impact that this has now had on their friendship. All that matters to Lisa is that SHE looks good.

Jessica is hurt and confused for having trusted Lisa. She was only trying to help. Yet Lisa took it upon herself to take advantage of the trust that Jessica placed in her as a friend.

Sometimes this happens in life.

I’ve written an article in the past titled “Cultivating Your Garden”.

In your proverbial life garden, sometimes the weeds can appear as though they are flowers. Sometimes it’s not until the roots of those weeds have begun to strangle your own growth beneath the soil are we able to indeed recognise them for what they truly are. But it’s never too late. You just remove them from your garden, and have learnt for next time what they look like. You just don’t let allow them to be in your garden anymore.

So back to trusting no one.

I always talk about intuition. It’s that swirly feeling in your gut. That’s why they call it a gut instinct.

Use it.

If something doesn’t feel right, you’re usually correct. But sometimes in life you need to learn the hard way. To see someone’s true colours sometimes means you need to open your eyes. Sometimes people have successfully pulled the wool over them without you even knowing.

But that’s ok. Because after all, life is a lesson, and everything really does happen for a reason.

WHAT YOU PUT UP WITH, YOU END UP WITH

I met my girlfriend and her 6 year old son for a coffee in the afternoon yesterday. He was particularly obnoxious this afternoon. He was annoyed because he wanted some type of sword which his mother could not find.

I couldn’t stand the whining and crying. So I told him that I would buy him this sword if he stopped carrying on.

Of course he agreed and he was on his best behaviour from then on.

We were having a coffee. I looked to my left and there were some plants in a little garden beside us.

“I wonder if those plants are real” I thought to myself out loud.

“Nah. They’re fake” my little buddy piped up.

So I decided to see if indeed they were fake. I touched the waxy leaf. I couldn’t tell. So I bent the leaf which quickly snapped between my fingers.

“Nope. Real.” I responded to my little friend.

“Oh nah it isn’t.”

“Ok. I’ll show you.” I responded as I tore some of the leaf off and placed it on the table.

His eyes lit up.

“Oh you’re naughty!” He told me. He was excited. We were now on the same page.

So after coffee we wandered around searching the shops for this stupid sword. Which we could not find. He settled for a Nerf gun.

As I handed over my American Express card to the cashier, I told him that this gun buys me never having to listen to him whining for the rest of his life. He agreed, and off we went.

I followed them back to their home, where he asked me to help him assemble his new toy. And then the fun began.

“Amy, let’s have a Nerf battle!”

My little friend handed me another Nerf gun he had, and promptly grabbed my hand and pulled me up, instructing me that I had to hide.

We played a squirmish of sorts before I said I’d had enough, and we got into the car to go to our local Thai restaurant for dinner.

At dinner my little friend chooses to sit next to me instead of his mother.

Later through the meal he tells us that both of us are his mums. I must say, I found it endearing, particularly as I have no children of my own. It’s nice that he looks at me that way even if it is only on account of the fact that I had just bought him a present.

After the meal he goes a bit berserk. A bit hyper. The singing begins. The theatrical flailing of arms. The commentary in between my girlfriend and my conversation.

“You eat heaps, thats why you have big fat boobs” my little friend tells me.

“I don’t eat heaps, and I have small boobs”

Just then, he yanks my singlet down to expose my bra, and laughs.

I laugh too. Mostly out of disbelief.

I get up then to fix up the bill. My little friend follows me, slapping my ass on the way. I turn to look at my girlfriend. She is laughing, her hands thrown up in defeat. What can you do?

After dinner we head back to the house, where the fun and games begin again.

He removes his pants at one point and comes and does a dance for me. Imploring me to look at his ass whilst laughing and being a clown.

He comes and sits down next to me after that. He tells me a story about how once he stuck rabbit poo up his nose and couldn’t breathe (his mother hilariously confirmed this to be true). We all laugh. He notices me plaiting a section of my hair.

“How do you do that?” He asks me curiously.

I attempt to show him, and give him a turn.

“Don’t you love it when males do your hair?” My girlfriend asks me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a male do my hair” I replied.

My little buddy then starts sifting through my handbag.

“What’s this?” He asks, as he pulls out a tampon from my bag.

I turn to my girlfriend. “How do I explain this?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Before we knew it, the tampon was unwrapped, and being used as a missile. I watched in dismay as the tampon was being torpedoed towards me.

As usual, I went with the flow, and we were playing a game of “catch the tampon” in no time.

I left soon after, exhausted from the utter madness of the evening, and headed home.

And here comes the deep thinking part. I thought to myself a few different things.

The first, was that bribery does wonders.

The second is, that was the most action I’ve had in a while.

The third is children will push you to your limit.

The fourth is people will treat you how you allow them to. The stunts that my little buddy was pulling would never fly with someone else. I am tolerant to a fault and quite jovial, so he knows he can muck around with me as if we were both in kindergarten.

And the fifth is, boys will be boys. I have seen men decades this little boys senior behaving in not too dissimilar ways. I think males ultimate goal is to make females laugh. Mission accomplished.

So the message today, is whilst you should absolutely set some boundaries as to what you deem acceptable behaviour, I still believe that you shouldn’t take life so seriously.

Go with the flow, give everyone the time of day. But here comes the contradictory part.

Make sure you state your claim, and speak up if you don’t like something. I didn’t mind playing with my little buddy, but you need to put your foot down in other life scenarios. The serious ones. Never be blindsided by charm.

What you put up with, you end up with.

A DETAILED EXPLANATION OF MY BELIEFS

I always talk about destiny, fate, synchronicity, meaningful coincidences, soulmates, intuition, following your heart, and things happening for a reason.

Sometimes I feel as though I cannot explain myself as thoroughly as I’d like, so today I am quoting Deepak Chopra in order to try and give my readers a better understanding of what it is I believe to be the only truth (this is a rather long post today):

“Most of us go through life a little afraid, a little nervous, a little excited. We are like children playing hide and seek, wanting to be found, yet hoping we won’t be, biting our nails with anticipation. We worry when opportunity approaches a little too closely, and hide deeper in the shadows when fear overcomes us. This is no way to go through life. People who understand the true nature of reality, those whom some traditions call enlightened, lose all sense of fear or concern. All worry disappears. Once you understand the way life really works—the flow of energy, information, and intelligence that directs every moment—then you begin to see the amazing potential in that moment. Mundane things just don’t bother you anymore. You become lighthearted and full of joy. You also begin to encounter more and more coincidences in your life.

When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. This is when the magic begins. This is a state I call synchrodestiny, in which it becomes possible to achieve the spontaneous fulfillment of our every desire. Synchrodestiny requires gaining access to a place deep within yourself, while at the same time awakening to the intricate dance of coincidences out in the physical world.
When a coincidence arises, don’t ignore it. Ask yourself, What is the message here? What is the significance of this? You don’t need to go digging for the answers. Ask the question, and the answers will emerge. They may arrive as a sudden insight, a spontaneous creative experience, or they may be something very different. Perhaps you will meet a person who is somehow related to the coincidence that occurred. An encounter, a relationship, a chance meeting, a situation, a circumstance will immediately give you a clue to its meaning. “Oh, so that’s what it was all about!”

The key is to pay attention and inquire.

Another thing you can do to nurture coincidence is to keep a diary or journal of coincidences in your life. After years of note-taking, I classify coincidences as tiny, medium, whoppers, and double-whoppers. You can do this in any way that is easy for you. For some people, it is easiest to maintain a daily journal and underline or highlight words or phrases or names of things that show up as coincidences. Other people keep a special coincidence diary. They start a new page for each significant coincidence, then jot down any other connections to that event on its page.

For people who want to delve deeply into coincidence, one of the processes I recommend is recapitulation. This is a way of putting yourself in the position of observer of your life, and of your dreams, so that connections and themes and images and coincidences become clearer. Because our connection to the universal soul is much more obvious when we are dreaming, this process allows you to access a whole new level of coincidences.

When you go to bed at night, before you fall asleep, sit up for a few minutes and imagine that you are witnessing on the screen of your consciousness everything that happened during the day. See your day as a movie. Watch yourself waking up in the morning, brushing your teeth, having breakfast, driving to work, conducting your business, coming home, eating dinner—everything in your day right up to bedtime. There is no need to analyze what you see, or evaluate, or judge… just watch the movie. See it all. You may even notice things that did not strike you as important at the time. You may notice that the color of the hair of the woman behind the drugstore counter was the same as your mother’s when you were young. Or you might pay special attention to a little child who was crying as his mother was dragging him down a supermarket aisle. It’s amazing the things that show up in the movie of your day that you may not have consciously noted during the day itself.

As you watch your day go by in the movie, take this opportunity to view yourself objectively. You may find yourself doing something that you’re particularly proud of, or at times you may notice yourself doing things that are embarrassing. Again, the goal is not to evaluate, but to get little insights into the protagonist’s behavior—this character that is your self.

When the recapitulation is over—which can take as little as five minutes or as long as a half hour—say to yourself, “Everything that I’ve witnessed, this movie of a day in my life, is now safely stored away. I can summon those images on the screen of my consciousness but as soon as I let them go, they disappear.” The movie is over. Then, as you go to sleep, say to yourself, “Just as I now recapitulated the day, I am giving instructions to my soul, my spirit, my subconscious to witness my dreams.” Initially you may not notice much of a change. But if you practice this every night for a few weeks, you will start to have a very clear experience that the dream is the scenery, and you are the person watching it all.

When you wake up in the morning, recapitulate the night, just as you recapitulated the day at night.

Once you are able to recall the movie of your dreams, write down some of the more memorable scenes. Include them in your journal. Make a special note of coincidences.

Nonlocal intelligence [literally “without location,” the spiritual domain, the field of potential] provides clues in our sleep just as it does in our waking hours.
What starts to happen, then, is that gradually we see correlations, images that repeat themselves both in dreams and in everyday reality. More coincidences provide more clues to guide our behavior. We start to enjoy more opportunities. We have more “good luck.”

These clues point out the direction to take our lives. Through this process of recapitulation we see recurring patterns and we start to unravel life’s mystery.

This process is especially helpful for departing from destructive habits. Life has certain themes that it plays out. Sometimes those themes operate to our advantage. Sometimes they work against us, especially if we repeat the same patterns or themes, over and over, hoping to get a different result. For example, many people who get divorced fall in love again, but they end up in exactly the same kind of relationship they were in before. They repeat the same trauma, relive the same anguish, and then they say, “Why does this keep happening to me?” The process of recapitulation can help us witness these patterns, and once we discern them, we can make more conscious choices. Journaling isn’t absolutely necessary, but it helps bring insights and coincidences to the surface.

So remain sensitive, observe coincidences during both your daytime living and your nighttime dreaming, and pay special attention to anything that breaks the probability amplitude—the statistical likelihood of a space-time event. We all need to plan things to some extent, to make assumptions about tomorrow even though we actually don’t know what’s going to happen. Anything that upsets our plans, anything that takes us off the trajectory we think we are on, can provide a major insight. Even the absence of events that you expect can be clues to the intent of the universe. People who have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning to go to a job they hate, who find it difficult to become engaged in their professional activities, who feel emotionally “dead” after a day at the office, need to pay attention to those feelings. These are important signals that there must be a way to get more fulfillment out of life. Perhaps a miracle lies in the wings. You’ll never know unless you form an intention, become sensitive to the clues from the universe, follow the chain of coincidence, and help create the destiny you most desire.

Of course, life can be difficult, and we each have daily chores, responsibilities, and obligations that can become overwhelming. Coincidences may come flying at you from all directions, or they may seem to dry up entirely. How do you find your way in such a complex world? Take five minutes every day and just sit in silence. In that time, put these questions to your attention and heart: “Who am I? What do I want for my life? What do I want from my life today?” Then let go, and let your stream of consciousness, your quieter inner voice, supply the answers. Then, after five minutes, write them down. Do this every day and you’ll be surprised at how situations, circumstances, events, and people will orchestrate themselves around the answers. This is the beginning of synchrodestiny.

For some people, answering those questions for the first time can be difficult. Many of us are not used to thinking in terms of our own wants and needs, and if we do, we certainly don’t expect to fulfill them. If you haven’t defined your life’s goal for yourself, what do you do then? It would be helpful if the universe would give us one big clue, or a giant compass, if you will, pointing to the direction we should be taking. In fact, the compass is there. To find it, you need only look inside yourself to discover your soul’s purest desire, its dream for your life.”

WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT

There’s a plum tree in my front garden. Right next to my letterbox. I went to check the mailbox yesterday morning as I’m waiting on some books to arrive.

I have nothing to read at the moment, and whilst I wait, I am tragically reading Twilight for the fourth time.

I adore the Twilight novels. But I must say I was bitterly disappointed when I got to the last book, waiting desperately for Bella and Edward to consummate their relationship. It almost happened in the third book. The “leg hitch” scene had me ramp up my reading speed.

The tension between the characters, and also myself as the reader, was palpable. The chapter preceding the consummation was so beautifully written. I was on the edge of my seat, reading the pages at a frantic pace, awaiting the moment when the two characters finally get it on.

I got to the end of the chapter, where Bella undressed, and met a naked Edward in the water. I flicked the page, excited to begin the next chapter. This is what I’d been waiting for.

Only there was barely a mention of their sexual romp.

It merely said “I woke up the next day…”. I flicked the pages backwards. Did I miss something? Had someone torn the pages out? I checked the sequence of the page numbers. Nope. All there.

What a goddamn let down.

I suppose it was a young adult novel after all, and the author was not about to go into great detail like an erotic novelist might. But that is what I was hoping for. I suppose that’s why “Fifty Shades Of Grey” was so popular. It gave the adult fans of the Twilight series what they were after. And then some. I recall reading “Fifty Shades” on a flight from Sydney to LA. There were certain parts that were so risqué that my mouth literally popped open, and I had to shield my fellow passengers from the things I was reading.

As usual I’ve gone off the topic.

So back to the plum tree.

I was startled by a Rosella perched on one of the branches on the tree as I opened the lid of the letterbox. It was in there amongst the foliage eating the plums which have mostly ripened now, some of which have now dropped to the ground.

And of course it made me think. Everything makes me think. I wish I was some ditzy bimbo whose train of thought was limited to organising my next hair appointment or something equally as vapid.

I looked at the plums scattered around the base of the tree. These plums had dropped off the branches once they were ready. Not before. If I were to go and remove these plums when they were still green, they would not have been ready to consume. They would not have ripened yet.

Nature teaches us to be patient. To wait until the time is just right.

I recall as a child that we used to grow carrots in the garden. My sister and I used to go down to the garden each morning and check to see if the carrots were ready to be uprooted from the ground.

My mother would get so angry with us. We used to see the orange tops of the carrots peeking through the soil and assume it was time to indeed pluck them from the ground.

Patience is not generally a virtue of children. Upon yanking them up, whilst on the garden bed surface they appeared to be ready, they were only the size of our pinkies and my Mum would yell at us and tell us to just leave the garden alone. They were not ready at all.

In life, the same principles apply. If you do things before the time is right, before you are ready, you will not get the best possible result.

If you were to pluck one of those plums from the tree, before the time was just right, yes, sure, you’ll still have the plum, but it won’t be as sweet and ripe as if you possessed the virtue of patience.

If Edward and Bella in Twilight had gotten it on any sooner, it may not have been as spectacular as the author never bothered to describe (that’s a lie – she did describe it – just not in a Christian Grey type of style).

So today’s lesson?

Have the patience to wait for the right moment. Until the time is right for you. The right moment to decide, to act, to be fearless, to speak your truth. Have the patience to allow the necessary changes and maturity to help to evolve properly.

If you don’t feel ready to do something, wait until you do. Only you know when you’ll be ready. Follow your heart and your intuition. Only then will you get the sweetest result.

And as Paulo Coelho says “life is always waiting for the right moment to act”.

QUESTION EVERYTHING

It’s amazing how a negative comment can have the power to cancel out the good.

I don’t think my writing is controversial, however today, I have chosen to be controversial in what I’m about to write.

I got my first negative comment today in regards to the article I wrote, “My Religion? My Soul”.

My father always taught me to never speak about religion, politics, or money. So I guess I asked for it.

Now this was the article that was picked up by Paulo Coelho. I actually had countless praise and positive feedback from this article. I even had people thank me for writing it.

But this morning when I woke up, I checked my twitter account, and I had a few negative comments from someone who disagreed with what I had written about. Which is totally fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

However it seemed to touch this reader on a personal level and she obviously felt attacked in some way, and so she chose to attack me.

You know how I always talk about people being mirrors and projecting their inner most state onto you? This was a classic example of that happening.

So I naturally had to reply to her. I sent her a short diplomatic reply, thanked her for reading, and wished her luck.

No doubt this may infuriate her as she seemed quite angry about the whole thing.

The style in which I choose to write is very confronting for a lot of people. Perhaps it makes them question what it is that they do truly believe in. And today’s piece is going to be no exception.

I guess I should feel flattered that I have had some type of effect on her. Even if it was of the negative variety. It reminds me of the power of the written word.

My opinion on organised religion is just that. My opinion. Everyone is entitled to it.

However I have formed my opinion through educating myself. And through questioning.

One comment that this reader made was in regards to the quote I referenced saying “the less you know, the more you believe”. She responded by saying “actually the more I learn the more I believe”.

There are more ways to learn other than limiting your reading to religious scriptures. That’s all I’m saying. And until you educate yourself with an open mind, you cannot really come to any conclusions until then. In fact, if the only way you choose to learn is limited to man written religious texts, then I cannot help but think it’s a little ignorant. Just my opinion.

Religious people are always very quick to ridicule others who do not share their own beliefs. And a lot of religious people take the bible very literally.

Take Jehovah’s Witness for instance.

Jehovah’s Witness are against blood transfusions. In fact, I used to employ a boy (he’s a man now) whose family used to be Jehovah’s Witness. His mothers sister was involved in a very bad car accident. In order to survive, she needed a blood transfusion. And she refused.

And she died a slow and painful death after 2 weeks. Needless to say, the family having witnessed this, have since renounced their faith.

Now they are against blood transfusions because in the bible, in the book of Leviticus, it is written that “eating blood is forbidden”. So they have translated this to mean that blood transfusions are out of the question.

Now, in that same book of Leviticus (which is the book of laws for those of you who do not know – oh, and also for those that deem themselves religious yet have never taken the time to read or question the bible), there are several other laws which these so called “religious types” I’m sure certainly don’t abide by.

The first is that you cannot eat rabbit, pigs, or any seafood that does not have scales.

You are also forbidden from having sex with a woman whilst she’s menstruating. You are actually to be cut-off from the community if you do.

A man who “has an emission of semen” (brilliant wording) is unclean until the evening and must bathe, and anything he touches will also become unclean. Really?

You mustn’t have sexual relations with a close relative (well, let me say this – I know stacks of people who are religious that have married their first, and second cousins).

You also cannot cut your hair at the sides of your head, nor clip off the edges of your beard.

It also very clearly states that “if a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, they must be put to death”.

So my question is this. Why, out of that entire book of laws, have the Jehovah’s Witness only chosen to stick so rigidly to the one that doesn’t even say directly “you cannot receive blood transfusions”?

I cannot help but believe that organised religion is nothing more than a cult.

You should have the freedom to choose (or lose) your religion. However educating yourself is always the most important step.

So my advice for today? Question everything. Question me. Question anything you have doubts about. And keep your minds open, not closed, to everything and all of the possibilities that exist.

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE

I’m not writing today’s article on account of the torrential downpour we are receiving in Sydney. However the rain and cooler weather is a welcome relief. Not only to extinguish the fires burning around the state, but also because I’m a bit over the hot weather.

I’m an outdoors person, however the recent heat has been getting to me, and I miss my wardrobe options.

I say that because all I’m able to wear in the hot weather is shorts and a singlet. Not that I mind. In fact, that’s my most favourite clothing choice. But I also like wearing a lot of clothes. Layering I mean. The older I get, the more I appreciate the cooler weather.

Being an outdoors person, I also spend a lot of time in the sun, and looking at my perpetually tanned skin (I have olive skin anyway), I often wonder if all the time spent in the sun will result in me looking like Donatella Versace in my older age. So yes, the cooler weather is a nice change.

So anyway, back to the title. Water, water everywhere.

I went to the Hawkesbury River again on the weekend. I made sure to wear my bikini if I decided to go water-skiing again. Upon arriving, I announced that today I had indeed wore my bikini.

“I didn’t bring the boat today” my friend said.

“Oh” I don’t know if I was relieved or disappointed.

We sat and chatted for a while. Like last time, I drank two beers, and chilled out.

I looked out to the river. There were a bunch of young guys fooling around on their speed boats. There was one guy zipping along in this funny looking boat. He was going so fast.

It was this flat boat, with an outboard motor and no seats. He was jumping waves and the boat was vertical at some points.

“That’s called a thundercat” my friend explained.
(Click on the YouTube link here to see what a thundercat is: http://youtu.be/Y6Wpe4CRUlM )

“Has he ever flipped it?” I commented as the boat was clearly unstable looking.

“Yeah once” my friends son answered. “You want me to take you for a ride in it?”

And the fight and fear began within me.

“Nah, I’m too old for that shit” I answered. They all laughed.

“C’mon. It’s fun.” my friends son answered.

Again, the combination of the alcohol coursing through my veins as well as my easily persuaded side overruled my sensibility.

“Oh alright. You’re such a bully” I responded, as my friend was already popping a life jacket on me before I had time to back out.

“You only get bullied if you give in” my friend told me.

So I made my way down to the boat, and clambered in.

“Sit back so we get more airborne” my friends son told me “and hold on”

Holy shit.

I remember my friends son when he was a little boy, and now here I was, sitting next to this 6 foot tall 17 year old, who clearly has not developed the capacity for fear.

And off we went.

We were going so fast. I was clinging on for dear life. The wind rushing past with such violent force, that my sunglasses were literally embedded into my face. I was pleading with him to slow down a bit, because I was terrified of falling out at such a high speed.

Surrounded by the deep, dark waters of the Hawkesbury River, something I’ve always been afraid of, I desperately did not want to fall out. My friends son kept on reassuring me that we wouldn’t.

We jumped waves, we had the boat vertical. And my friends son would just laugh. I lasted less than 10 minutes, before telling him I’d had enough, and he relented and took me back to dry land.

“That was fucked” I told my friends, my hands trembling, once I got back. They laughed.

But after my heart rate had returned to normal, I admitted that no, it was actually fun. Not that I’d do it again, but it was certainly an experience. Or maybe I would do it again. Yeah. I think I would do it again.

So what is the life lesson in this particular experience?

Well, first, it’s necessary to give into your fears. Otherwise you will not get to experience new things. And you might end up having fun. Yes I woke up on Sunday morning with sore arms from holding on for dear life, but it was worth it.

Second, I was not really bullied into it. I was a willing participant. Until we can come to understand that it is what we agree to, we will always hold someone else responsible. The ultimate decision is always up to you. Yes, some of us are easily coerced, but you are the one who chooses in the end.

Third, have trust. I trusted my young friend to keep me safe. And he did.

And last, don’t overthink things. And be fearless like the young ones. And like Nike. And just do it.