My writers block is getting the better of me, so I have no other alternative than to switch it up a little.
Today I decided to interview my father. He knows a lot about a lot. My Aunty Gael always refers to him as “Saint Robert” as he is the most patient man we all know, and he tirelessly cared for my Grandparents in their final years.
So here it is below:
Amy Anka: I know you have told me countless times throughout my life that we have a guardian angel. What have you personally experienced that has led you to believe this to be true?
Saint Robert: On countless occasions, when we have had financial crises, “something”seems to manifest itself in the form of an ability to earn extra income, or an unexpected “windfall” appears, to relieve the financial pressures. In times of “job / career dissatisfaction”, a solution was often presented to improve the circumstances (a boss moved on / a career changing opportunity presented).In times of “emotional turmoil”, often a seemingly blatantly obvious solution to the turmoil is prevented from being made i.e. it runs up against a “decision delay process”, which seems to allow a better emotional solution to present itself.
AA: You are aware that I believe in destiny, fate, and things happening for a reason. I believe that everyone we meet is there to unveil a layer ofourselves. Do you think this is true?
SR: I am not a spiritual person by nature, but I am comfortable in the belief that each person we cross paths with in life, have something to contribute (not always positive) to who and what we as a person, become in life.
AA: What lessons have you learnt from your own father? You discussed the other day that he taught you that material wealth is not important. Can you elaborate?
SR: The most valuable lesson that my father taught me over his entire life, was that every person we meet is your equal, never your better, and you yourself are never better than anyone else (although sometimes we all believe we must be better than the next person – fools aren’t we !). His values in life always were, that you should treat everyone as well asyou would expect them to treat you, and “good” things will always come your way, not necessarily from the person, but a good deed will be repaid from somewhere else, in kind. His next most important lesson was that “money cannot buy health and happiness”, despite it’s ability to make life more “comfortable”. An often repeated saying, which my father rarely used openly, but the message was just as strong in it’s unspoken truth, was … “Money is the root of all evil”.
AA: You have never been one to care about what anyone thinks of you. I feel very much the same and am what people refer to as a free spirit. Do you think this is a family trait?
SR: This definitely is a Nash Family trait. Both Grandma and Grandpa had no”airs and graces” about them. They could meet anyone from VIP’s to paupers,and make them comfortable in their presence, without a thought of what anyone else watching, or listening, would perceive “should be said, or done”. They didn’t have any concerns of “what people might think”, as they were comfortable in their own skins. As you observe, I have inherited that trait from a very early time in my life (being the eldest may have a lot to do with that), Gael (my Aunty) definitely has, and so has Peter (my Uncle), predominantly through adversities in their lives though. In many ways, both you and Alyssa (my sister) have come to accept that “perceptions by others needing to be important”, as restrictions to your paths in life. Whether the “Nash Trait” is the source, or this dismissal of the need to consider others’ perceptions of your behaviours and attitudes, is due to the experiences in your own lives, I am not sure.
AA: When your intuition nudges you to go towards a particular direction, how do you explain that?
SR: When my intuition nudges me in a direction that seems right for me, and those I care for around me, I raise my eyes to the Heavens and say thank you to that Nash Guardian Angel, or is it a deity, I just can’t acknowledge exists ????
AA: Why do you think parents sometimes put their first-borns on a pedestal?
SR: The firstborn is the end result of a couple’s belief that they will have the most perfect child, and if they are concerned they will never able to have another, all their efforts go into making that child a reflection oftheir own character traits, and instill in them a sense of self belief, that they personally may wish for themselves, but not necessarily have. More physical and emotional effort by both parents is put into the first born’s life progress, until a second child is conceived. Usually the gap to a second, or more children, is large enough (2 – 3years) that the firstborn has by then, been placed on that “you’re the best” pedestal, sometimes unconsciously. It is difficult to dampen that constantly instilled “you’re the best” self belief in that child.
AA: What is the meaning of life?
SR: I rarely delve into the spiritual depths of life and it’s meaning. I can only repeat the basic message that my own father and mother instilled in me… “This is the only life there is. Be as nice as possible to all people and creatures you cross paths with during your life, and it will be one of contentment, admittedly with a few hiccups along the way to make you a stronger person emotionally, as there is no strength without adversity !
AA: You have said that women change, and that men stay the same. Is this always a recipe for disaster?
SR: I was being very general in my observation that a male “stays the same”, as there are abilities in both sexes to change / adapt to their environment, whether it be physically, or emotionally, but in general terms, after 64 years on this planet, and exposure to a multitude of people’s relationships, I have formed the opinion, rightly or wrongly, that it is much more common for a woman to grow and adapt quickly and more easily in life, business, and relationships, than a male. “Recipe for disaster” is not a term I would accept. If a male is a “slow adapter” to any changes in life, business, relationships, then he is provided choices to adapt, improve, compromise, or continue on blindly in the manner they have been. Only a fool, or a pigheaded arrogant person, will not eventually adapt to the changes thrust upon them.
AA: Do you think that I have missed out in anyway because I have not had any children?
SR: As Mum and I were married for more than 5 years before the thought of having you, was even a glimmer of thought, we had developed a very comfortable life, with financial security, freedom of choice to travel, dine out, entertain, etc. I personally had become accustomed to that lifestyle, and would have continued on as a childless couple, probably without any regrets (typical male selfishness). Right up to the day you were born, I had more fear of lost lifestyle, than happiness in your existence. It was only once you came into our home and became the focus of our entire existence, did I understand what it was like to be responsible for a child’s existence and their future, and the absolute sense of satisfaction it gives a parent to be part of their progress through life.However, if I had continued on without ever having children, in blissful ignorance, I honestly don’t believe I would have felt that I had missed out on the life experiences as a parent. As one of the 40% of women who will never have children (if that is your fate), then ce la vie. A philosopher once said … “What you never had, you should never miss !”
AA: And finally, was there any questions you wanted to ask Grandpa but never had the chance?
SR: In hindsight, because I was the “prime carer” in both Grandma’s and Grandpa’s final years, at the time I wasn’t really able to appreciate how fortunate I was, to have spent many, many hours just sitting and chatting with them, with no subject untouched in our conversations. I can honestly say that I had absolutely no unanswered questions of life, his family history, his emotions, etc from Grandpa.Grandma was a different kettle of fish. Much of her past family history was never revealed, and only became apparent to me in conversations with her older sister Lucy, who passed away shortly after Grandma. Like Mum, Grandma led a very difficult early life, and her emotional openness was restricted, and any conversations about her early life were deliberately avoided by her. I doubt that any questions I may have not had the chance to ask Grandma would have been answered openly anyway.
Well Amy, that’s as soul searching as I’ve been in many, many years. I sure hope it is of help for you in your quest for inner contentment.
All my love, Dad.