I haven’t been able to write lately, for reasons which I do not wish to elaborate on.
A combination of Mercury being in retrograde until the 20th of July (Mercury rules both Gemini and Virgo – of which I am an eccentric Gemini – and interrupts communications), and some personal and business reasons has had me having a case of both writers block, and feeling truly uninspired.
I’ve been on a self imposed “time-out” as my delicate spirit can only process so much at once. And there’s a bit too much going on right now.
Just last weekend I was told how much people enjoy my writing style. I was even introduced to some people as being a “writer”. I love that. Because being a writer is actually what is number one on my bucket list.
Those that know me personally say its like sitting down and speaking with me. That I write honestly and articulately. It’s encouraged me enough today to pull my finger out and get something up on my site even though I’m not particularly in the right headspace to write at the moment. I almost feel as though I’m letting my readers down if I don’t churn out at least something. I’m in what you would call a bit of a “funk”.
This happens to the best of us, and some more frequently than others. I had a conversation with my Mum yesterday , who told me that ever since I was a little girl I’ve always doubted myself. Always needing reassurance. Never being able to make a decision. “You’ve always been fragile” she told me. I am. I’m super sensitive, which I’ve touched on in previous posts.
Fragility means I fall apart quite easily, and often. I think that happens with us creative souls. I think we are a little too connected with the universe and we feel everything a little too intensely at times. And being fragile means you are quite vulnerable to the things surrounding you. Which can sometimes disturb the equilibrium of your soul.
Without going into too much detail, I do feel compelled to share this piece of advice today.
Relationships of any type, whether it be romantic or otherwise, are the hardest thing you will ever have to endure. I say endure as it is a test of endurance. And a test of resilience. One thing I’ve learnt is that one must be willing to compromise. And sometimes, the level of compromise required can lead to an agreement of unconventional sorts being put into place. Whatever works I say.
Back in the day, I thought I’d grow up, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Happily ever after. Life, after all, is not the a fairy tale we are lead to believe it is. Life is a roller coaster ride full of elating highs and sometimes terrifying lows. Life doesn’t come with a book of instructions and what might work for some doesn’t necessarily work for others. And life doesn’t always go according to plan. Far from it actually.
And when it comes to making decisions, we can seek the counsel of others, however in the end, the ultimate decision lies solely with us. Do we follow our head, or do we follow our heart? Intuition is a strange phenomenon. It’s a gut instinct on what we feel compelled to do, often times for reasons we cannot fully comprehend, and only in hindsight will we be able to look back to see whether or not we have made the right choice for ourselves. As my father tells me “if you make the wrong choice, so what? It’s better than making no choice at all”.
Fear can paralyse us all at times, but not making a decision means nothing can change. So it takes an enormous amount of courage to make a decision. Everything around us is constantly changing and evolving, it’s only natural that as human beings we go with the flow and follow our hearts desire. In the end, happiness (and of course health) are paramount. And like I always say, do whatever gets you to where you need to go – even if it is outside the box of what is considered normal.
So my decision for today was to write, and get something out there and any other decisions which need to be made, I will listen to my intuition, and whatever signs the universe sends me and things will turn out no doubt exactly as they’re meant to.